ok i am posting here because this is where i feel the safest.just a quick rundown of my year and maybe someone can tell me what the hell is happening to me.first i watched my beautiful dad die.it was devastating to say the least.took me almost a year to find a way to move on.then i had the most tramatic event happen to me in my life .i found my nephew who committed suicide .it was the most horrible 12 minutes of my life .trying to revive him and call 911 and just take in what i was seeing, and what i was doing .hugging him and holding him for the last time and doing it for my sister because if it was my son i would want my sister holding him and hugging him.so i did those things for me and for my sister.i loved him.well i had a nervous breakdown .i am trying to recover from this breakdown .i had shoulder surgery .i ruputured my rotater cuff.well 1 week after surgery my wonderful mother in law died.another huge set back.now my bipolar is totally out of control .so nervous breakdown and out of control bipolar.and out of nowhere this friggin thought comes into my head that i need to come off my meds .wtf. where does this come from.this is the last thing i need right now.does anybody know why i would want to get off my meds now...stupid isnt it.i think maybe i just needed to talk .thanks for letting me talk .i am just really messed up right now.. hugs ..marie
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