I have also found that taking care of myself first and foremost before anything else, even my kids, is the most immportant thing. I have to eat right, exercise, and get at a minimum 8 hours of sleep, much better 9 or 10. When I realize that I am just thinking and feeling so depressed, I force myself to think more happy thoughts, sounds corny but I even sing the song from the Sound of Music, my favorite things. And you know what? I feel better! My biggest tormenters are exhaustion, depression and lonliness. I live alone and know that if I had someone I loved to come home to my life would be much better. But how to meet someone? Internet dating means you could be dating a serial killer who just put down in the questionnaire that he\'s the all american boy. All of the churchs I have tried don\'t have singles groups for those of us over 50. It\'s like we just don\'t matter anymore if we are alone and over 50. I am trying to find a job that will be part time and flexible enough to accomodate my periods of exhaustion. I think that would really help. Being alone and feeling horrible all day long can really make you depressed. I know I would feel better if I would go exercise, even if only for 15 mins, but most of the time I\'m too tired to even consider it, it\'s a catch 22 and I am really sick of it. Trying to change your life for the positive is a very intense and tiring thing, another catch 22, you need to exercise to get stronger and feel better but you are just too bone tired to get up and exercise. Anyone have any thoughts on how to get out of this loop?

Hi Kim,
Try to keep positive, keep singing, if that works for you. Remember to pray. Please stop hitting yourself over the head for what you can\'t do. Be happy about the things you can do. You can consider work. Some people with this can\'t get out of bed.

I'm learning new coping methods every day but here are some that I've found so far. I'm sure a lot of them are-- "Well, duh!" but maybe someone will get a "Well, duh, why didn't I think of that?" out of them!

First, S.Edwards tip on adding Borax to the wash so it doesn't get mildew is a lifesaver for me. I could wash the same load of laundry for days before!!!

My "dark room"-- I completely covered the windows in the bedroom and it comes in handy when I feel the headache coming on or just to relax for awhile. I can also nap better during the day with the light blocked out.

Amber light bulbs--I've replaced a lot of the bulbs in my house with amber colored ones. Also put up amber colored sheers on the windows. For whatever reason, the golden light is more soothing and I have less headaches, especially when the snow is glaring outside.

Dark sunglasses--heavy duty, terminator style sunglasses. I can't leave home without them.

Water--I drink about 3/4 - 1 gallon a day. I used to drink at least the 8-10 glasses and found when I increased that I have less "shakiness" and dizziness.

Lap top computer--I can't sit at a computer desk for longer than 5 minutes without my legs "falling asleep" or my joints stiffening up terribly. With the lap top I can lay down, sit, move around...whatever I need to do.

Computer--I've set my internet background to a pale beige color. It's easier on my eyes to limit the bright white that flashes at me.

Rolling kitchen chairs--I've found that I can tolerate anything better sitting down! I use the chairs everywhere! The only way I can mop the floor is to sit on the chair and scoot around the floor!

Little notebooks--I keep several for different purposes. One for grocery list, one for "other stores" list, one my mom (things to tell her or give her), one for my in-laws, etc. I keep them in my purse on the kitchen counter so I can jot things down and I check them before I leave the house and while I'm out.

Buy in bulk--I stock up on things we use all the time to save on trips to the store and the chance of running out or forgetting to buy. Paper towels, light bulbs, t.p., frozen veggies, soap, etc.

Ear plugs--keep in my purse and wear them a lot when I go out. I don't get fatigued quite as much on outings, especially to noisy places.

T.V.--I rarely watch it. There's something to sensory overload. And, you are bombarded with negative messages, even in commercials. When I do watch, it is something upbeat. Of course, the kids watch Barney and things like that but it doesn't drain me the way watching an hour of CNN does.

Shoes--I'm like Mr. Rogers now. I come in and change into my house sweater and house shoes. Keeps me warmer. The other day I forgot to wear shoes in the house all day and had a hard time getting to sleep with my feet pulsing and burning.

Vacuum--I keep a small shop vac with long extension tube and a floor attachment in the closet. I often get dizzy when I do the broom/dustpan thing so this works a lot better for me.

Vanity--I was starting to feel pretty witchy from walking around looking witchy all the time! I worked with my hair dresser to come up with a cut that is totally wash and go, took awhile but was well worth it. It didn't mean short for my hair, just needed layers in the right places. Spray bottle-for water to mist my hair on those no shower days. I bought some comfy clothes that I can nap in or wear to the store.

Online shopping--if I can buy it online, I do. The shipping cost is nothing compared to the week or two of feeling terrible from 1 hour at Wal-Mart.

Reduce clutter--as "brokenivory" related, getting rid of unnecessary stuff, simplifies things and reduces daily stress. Helps you to find or not lose things as easily and less to get messed up and need cleaned.

Hope someone get a tip or two out of this! I'm sure there are more that aren't coming to me at the moment.

I'm still trying to think creatively to come up with little things that reduce stress or help me cope.

Yep - everything Holly said, except I'm doing better with turquoise background and filters on TV and monitor and no direct lighting at all.

Kim, I wrote an article last year on what I ended up calling the Energy Exchange - I should dig that up. Basically, exactly what you're talking about here. I only want what gives back more than it uses up. That goes for people, places, and things of all kinds. And I'm fairly ruthless about it. I'd pretty much give up breathing, if it didn't manage to give me a little more than it takes away. But I'll take a 3-pizza for the price of on delivery any time. The sheer hours of prep time and calories made available by sticking all the extra slices in the freezer and nuking one of them for 90 seconds when I want one is one of my finest Good Exchanges.

The only area I know of where I can give and take freely without paying physically is in the spiritual arena, so I'm a total spendthrift there.

I...well, it wasn't me, exactly. It just came to me when I was terribly sick once. Each and every day, I try to do something for me, something for someone else, and something for no damned good reason at all - simply a matter of not trying live out of one pocket. That might total out to 30 seconds of concentrated activity some days, and every one of them is worth something to me. I hadn't thought of saying "no" as part of that, but I don't see why not. When I say no to bad exchanges, that's definitely something for me, and just maybe for the other person as well.

Heh - this is sort of like that One Paperclip guy, except for energy gimps. Maybe I'll trade up for the better energy until I get a real life - ya think?