Wow. I don't get this. I understand the need to make "peace" with the illness and accept it. I understand that as a Christian I DO pray for His knowledge and will for me as one called accordingly. I do believe God will keep me sane through this. But what about those who aren't believers? Don't they get to be sane??? What does this have to do DIRECTLY with CFIDS? It's a GREAT way to live ones life in ALL areas (personal opinon) but I sure hope you're not saying that CFIDS is a moral issue for US. It is for those of us (U.S. gov't) who deny us our RIGHTS but us? We're not in "the wrong" here. We're right. Please clarify this stuff for me, Sharon, maybe it's a severely foggy moment right now, but I just don't understand. And know you wouldn't support what I think you're saying. Ok?

Thanks - Ruth

Sharon,

Thank you for your thoughts. I, like you, believe the 12 Steps of AA have much to teach those of us stumbling our way towards health....Thank you for your contribution...

Ruth in order to work the 12 Steps one usually has to have a have a Higher Power. For most people that Higher Power is God, for others they can choose to call something else their Higher Power. Some people feel the group is their Higher Power working through people.
Spirituality is the basis of the 12 Step Programs but to each person they can believe whatever they choose or not choose.
Personally I don`t see it as a moral issue at all.

Always remember with the 12 steps that you can take what you want and leave the rest. My dad was an alcoholic and the program has taught me so much. As a matter of fact I believe I chose wisely in my marriage because I worked the program. Give it a chance 4sons and you will see but of course it may take awhile.

I will take the first step.
1. We admitted we were powerless over CFS--that our lives had become unmanageable.

This is so true for me when I lost my job because I went out on FMLA. I was upset and overwhelmed by my medical condition and I couldn't figure out why doctors were treating me so badly. Then after months of letting go because I was too sick to do anything else I realized that a lot of these docs are victims of a medical system that cares more about profit than the patients and I realized I had no control over this.

Ruth, it's not about any particular religious path. There are members who are Wiccans, traditional Native Americans and every other possible belief system you can think of. The whole thing is built especially well for agnostics who aren't quite sure what to believe - an entire chapter of the Big Book was dedicated to themin particular. Most days, yer old granny's walker is a Power Greater than myself. (I have a lot to choose from!) I met a guy once who held the Brawny guy as his Higher Power, cuz the Brawny Man was big and strong and could clean up messes better than the guy could. So basically, just about anybody who's willing can get sane.

The Serenity Prayer goes -

God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Not a whiff of pacifism in there! It's all about getting the gear you need for the journey. Being morally and spiritually fit ourselves is essential gear. It doesn't act as a cop out for anyone else's actions. That part isn't even about what anyone else does. It only makes sure we keep our own stuff cleaned up as part of achieving our own best possible recovery.

But that personal inventory stuff comes later on - at Step 4.

(Just because a meeting has any particular step as its theme doesn't mean that's the particular step you're working on yourself at the moment. They are in that particular order for good reason, and each one takes however long it takes. As you go along, you get to see how they all fit together. That guy on My Name is Earl has been on Step 9 for a couple of seasons already. So don't feel pressured to get them all at once. As they say - "More will be revealed." : )

Thanks, guys ... this makes MUCH more sense to me now. Although personally I'll pick God anytime over the Brawny Dude. BUT it didn't seem "right" to me to be espousing "DS/CFIDS" wide by having it be a God thing. I teach in a public school ... ok, used to teach, and know the difference between church and state. I'm assuming "we" are part of the collective state here.

I'm going to trust that going through this 12 step process is going to give me something more to live with even if I am not completely comfortable with the words at times.

I admit that i am powerless over CFS-that my life has become unmanageable. I hope and work for the best but understand that I have to listen to my illness, respect it, and find better and better ways to live with it. That's hard. But i have a feeling accepting my powerlessness is going to help me say No better and rest more and not think about it all so much.

While CFS is a heartache, I as and will always try to do better, your 12 steps sound great for those who can do them, I am trying my own type of "12 steps". Sure hope it helps. Good luck with yours!

I am up to step number four. I have turned my illness over to God, my higher power, I acknowledge that I am powerless over my chronic illness. Now I have to make in inventory of myself. Not quite sure what that means. Anyone can help me with this. Just explain what I'm looking to inventory? My character? My motives? My plans? All of the above? HELP PLEASE> I want to do this right. Thanks guys, Darla

Taking an inventory of yourself means taking an inventory. No judging, no scolding and no second guessing. It just means what am I right now. What things are real for me at this time. For me it means that I don't do the things I use to I don't even come close. I don't help with the yard work and I am in a brain fog most of the time. Anyone else feel free to step in pardon the pun. I think we should separate the 12 steps that way when others have moved on they can go to the step they are on. What do you all think about that?

Well, I can`t seem to get past step 3 in my life. lol I wonder if I`ll do better here.
I`am still somewhat of a newbie I guess you might say.

Rosanne

I'm going to take my time, Roseanne and really take time to process things. I know I've done this stuff for SPIRITUAL and emotional reasons, but this is different. What are you using as your higher power?

I'm thinking perhaps we should do this a little differently as the more experienced than me 12 steppers get more involved. I have not been a part of a 12 step group for quite some time and I humbly ask that others with more experience guide us through this process. Heck I don't even own a copy of the book.

It's possible to do a google search and get electronic copies of both the Big Book and the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous for free. I give 'em both two snaps up and a bag of chips. And, it's kind hard to do a book study when we haven't got the books, right?

It's also probably possible to post each step and tradition here as we get on to each step and tradition. We'll have to just try it out and see if it works in this format, I guess.

Hugs to all that want one!
More chocolate, anyone?

I will break my anonymity and tell the group here that I have been a member of AA for over 6 years. I have worked the 12 steps several times now. I work steps 3, 10, 11 and 12 on a daily basis.

I used alchohol and stimulants to give me a boost because I felt so tired and pained every day.

It was initially very difficult for me to abstain from drinking because I felt physically so much worse when I was sober. It wasn't fair - I was supposed to feel better - like everyone else in AA!!

The principles of AA have helped me to deal with the powerlessness I have over my alcoholism and my CFS

There have been some questions about the 4th step. In AA, we don't give advice. Instead we share our experience, strength and hope (ES&H).

My experience has been that a good way to start a 4th step is to make a list of all the people, places and things that you resent, especially oneself

Then go back to your list and write dwon why you feel the resentment and how that resentment effects you. (is it self-esteem, financial security, fear?)

The Big Book (the Alcholics Anonymous text) gives an example (just a suggestion!) of how to do this on page 65.

I don't expect that most of you reading this post have a copy of the Big Book lying around - lol. There is a copy available online at:

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/

The other major text that is used for working the 12 steps of AA is called the "12 Steps and 12 Traditions", fondly called the 12X12. There is no online version available as far as I know. But it can be purchased at any bookstore.

Although these books are written for alcoholics, it can work for any disease that effect's one's behaviors

Being afflicted with CFS makes me at times short-tempered, unreliable, pessimistic and resentful of others who are not sick. So the steps are applicable.

Usually people need to have reached a "bottom" of some sort to completely give themselves over to this program.

Having CFS/ME has had a more devestating effect on me than anything else - far worse than alcoholism or cancer. It has pushed me to the bottom financially, socially, physically.

I hope you can find some relief by working this simple program.

It is recommended that you do these steps with a "sponsor" - preferably someone else who suffers from the same illness or someone who has worked the steps before.

Remember that this is not a religous or moral program - it is a spiritual one.

Thanks Sharon, for introducing this subject