The most difficulty I am having right now is with the people around me. As I said before, I am extremely fortunate to have a husband that is unbelievable. How he manages to still continue to love, care and comfort me when I am being horrible , is unbelievable to me. I would not be here if it weren't for him. However, those other "friends" and associates around me that I have to relate to on a daily basis have been extremely hurtful. Since I have to work very hard in a very physically demanding job (it's our own business and if we don't work we don't get health care, house, food etc.) as well as trying to help my husband establish another business that will get me out of this mess, I believe they think I am not really sick! This all came about when I had to give up actively socializing and participating fully in activities that I love but can not do at the moment. I am being punished twice--for being sick and for not being what they want me to be. What amazes me is that these people think they are spiritually and medically aware people, and yet they are constantly building a "case" against me (these are not my doctors or health providers, but lay people). One thing is my inability to go through multiple tests and treatments OR become involved in any additional physical activity due to time and financial restraints. Therefore, I have not been tested as fully as I should nor have I been able to avail myself of massage, physical therapy, etc. Trust me....I wish I could take a month, go to a clinic that specializes in this diagnosis and get to the bottom of everything. However, that is as delusional as expecting to win the lottery. It is an extreme stress to be around these very toxic people especially when I'm exhausted---which is a good deal of the time. I know I must find a place within myself to gather strength, but that takes energy as well. How do you find the inner reserves to maintain a positive image of yourself when the rug is being pulled out from under you and the people around you are actively yanking it out?
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