I feel like I have progeria of the internal body. I'm not aging on the outside but i feel like I am on the inside. My joints ache and my muscles will spasm. I get really dizzy and I don't remember what it feels like not to be exhausted. I get hot flashes and lose my train of thought. I have frequent crying spells. I have severe mental and physical exhaustion. And I'm more than fed up with the people at my school that are convinced that their poor or good grades determine how intelligent they are as a person. I used to be an excellent student many years ago before I got overworked. I loved learning and I thought of school as a fun little game. Now I'm so exhausted I can barely study and even if I study for hours and hours I still fail. Before I didn't know the meaning of the word F in my life and now it's constant Fs and Ds. I've never done so terrible, it is imperative that I complete my last years of highschool successfully. I took my pre sats and did worse and worse the more I took them. Everyone around me did good. I'm just so angry I used to have such a great future ahead of me and now due to this exhaustion I don't want to do anything but sleep and cry...I also get constant chills. I can't keep up with conversations and today I couldn't even remember what our president's last name was. Also if I'm studying and I try to figure something out I feel like I have a fever. I started noticing this in 2004 and it's gotten terrible ever since. One weekend I was overcome suddenly with the need to vomit and all weekend I felt like this and then it went away. Then I couldn't swallow properly, I've had terrible intestinal problems, many infections, and I used to be so dizzy for a year that I would walk into my livingroom and fall on the couch. Nowadays my biggest problem is mental and physical exhaustion and my eyes feel leaded and heavy and exhausted and they burn. Every day they feel like this...In 2004 when I first noticed this my biggest complaint was chest pain and trouble breathing. A few years later I was having horrendous headaches accompanying flu like symptoms about once every 2 weeks. Napping makes me more exhausted/out of it and depressed. At school whenever I get the chance now I close my eyes and if I can I put my head down on my desk and try to sleep. Late at night I usually feel a lot better than during the day..I went to the doctor and got fatigue tests run and it came back that I was fine. My parents think I'm using this as an excuse and my doctor didn't take me seriously either..One of the best assets I had was an excellent memory which led me to academic success. Now I don't have that either and if something is due I can't remember and I get in trouble. People at my school think I'm slow and stupid now, they have no idea..
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