I usually just go day by day. But about a week ago I had one of my 2 day migraines. Funny thing is that after the headache I felt better than I have felt in over a year! So for 5 days I was smiling and playing and just feeling like maybe it was gone. Yippee! I was so grateful to be energetic I decided to clean my house. Wow. I can say it looks great! Then sure enough I try to lay down after being proud of my self. I felt like I had swallowed dust. My throat hurts. I can't seem to get that chalky feeling out and I am so overtired. No pain yet but I feel it creeping back. I had been on long term abt (doxicycline) because it seems to keep my "body" inflamation under somewhat control. Well we decided to stop them for a while about 2 weeks ago. Now my skin has broke out, my bladder is irritated, my back sore, my eyes burn, my stomach is uncomfortable. I just sat down tonight and cried. I don't feel sorry for myself most of the time. But I felt so good...I am not ready to go back. And that's what it feels like. That's the only way to describe it. I am heading right back to that daily tired, worn out....can't leave the house because I feel like crap feeling.....Uggg. To top it off I missed my doctor appt because I "thought I didn't need to go". I just didn't feel sick so why go? Some days I just want to be someone else. Not a person with "CFS". I want to be normal again. I think I just need a hug. Someone to tell me it will be okay and to not feel sorry for myself. There are so many others way worse than I am.
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