I am often so "filled" with my own problems with MS and all the issues that go with that. I recently received a "slap in the face" from GOD - at least that's how I look at it - my 20 year old son discovered a lump in his testicle - and for two weeks we've been waiting for the ultrasound he had Monday - I've cried so many tears, prayed so many prayers for forgiveness of my own selfishness, begging GOD to please take me - not him - if the worst were to happen. You know how it goes when you have children you would give your life for them at any given moment. Sleepless nights, tears and more tears. Today, finally good news. ALL IS NORMAL. NO CANCER. The flood dams opened, my tears of thankfullness. What does it take for me to realize that if I have this kind of love for MY son.... what kind of love must HIS SON have for us?? I can't fathom it - and have such a hard time wrapping my head around it. Why is it that sometimes I don't feel it? Do I block it out? Want control of my own life? Love to have a pitty party? I wish every day I could start with remembering that GOD is in control - even if I don't like what happens - that God knows all about it. I struggle with this. Any ideas and comments are welcome. Christine
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