I got saved in feb. of 94. It was the most wonderful feeling I could ever have. I was so faithful. I was 22 at the time. Had two boys and a wonderful husband. Life at that time was great. We didn't have much, just starting out. But that didn't matter to me. I was just happy with what God have given me. Well, in 2000 my husband went to be with the lord. I still had my faith all through his sickness and after his death. He sent me someone to help me through the grieving prosses. He was acually his boss. He was divorced at the time for a while then. He helped me with the paper work that needed to be done that I had no idea need to be done, electric stuff around the house, stuff like that. We became good friends. He helped me with the boys, doing things with them. Then one day he confessed his feelings for me I had to admit that I was starting to have them for him too. We ended up getting married. I thanked God for such a blessing in my life. God blessed us with Twins in 2003. But when Jan. of 2004 got here one of the twins (at 10 months old) died. It crushed us. I still had my faith but it wasn't as strong as it was before. Then God blessed us with a wonderfull little boy. When he was 1 1/2 he started having siezures.it was all of the time. He was flown three times, twice to uk childrens and once to cincinatti childrens.Because we couldn't stop his seizures. They would last for over an hour. And he also has a chiari. I was wondering why god was testing us like this. He ended up having partional epilepsy. he is now 3 and hasn't had on in 3 months. Now, My husband broke down 2 weeks ago, I have never seen anyone like this. He was having a nervous breakdown. I took him to the dr. and he has clinicle depression. He is starting on his third week and it is starting to get better. But at the beginning he was having suicidal thoughts. He is on a three week short term dissability. I have had several people telling me to watch him now. I am guessing from now on. I don't know if I can take anymore. My faith had dwindled down pretty far.I still pray, I pray that he helps my family, but everytime I do pray, something like this happens. I am beggining to quit asking for anything. I even asked him to stop. I can't take anymore. I have had so many losses and events that I can't do it anymore. I know that God don't put more on you than you can bare. But I am at the end. I thought that maybe I could ask for someone else pray for us that he would listen because I feel like he isn't listening to me. Once everything seems to come together something else happens. It never ends. So please pray for us and me. I want the faith I had. I want the relationship I had before, I talked to God everyday just like he was here with me. I want that back. your prayers will be greatly appreciated.
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