Welcome tearslikerain2 - Glad to have you and glad you found us. God Bless!

1- spouse
2- 1
3- all (lol)
4- too long - years
5- 5+

And you?

Yes, welcome to our group. Hopefully your tears like rain will stop flowing soon and your estrangement is only days away. I am also glad I found this group. A few years ago I googled parents estranged from their children and basically found nothing. I think this problem is becoming more prevalent in this day and age.

1- spouse
2 & 3- 2 girls - one estranged
4- about 2 years
5- 27

I am so glad to be a part of this group as well. So long I have been alone in my circumstance except for knowing that God has been with me. It's nice to know there are others who understand.
1. married
2. 3 boys 21, 18, & 15
3. on and off for 1 year so not long
4. 20

I'm on my own.
I have three daughters.
We have been through some tough times along the way but always a close family, raised in God's guidance and love. All three made a decision of faith in Jesus at young ages.

I'm estranged from the oldest two. It's the second "round" for the middle daughter.
There was no argument or incident, nothing specific that I can see.
First the oldest and a few months later, the middle daughter joined the club after they suddenly began spending alot of time together.
The only "reason" either of them have given is: " I just don't like you"

This includes total cut off from my grandchildren.

They also did this to my youngest daughter for almost a year. Recently they reconcilled, but she said its very tense and both sisters are very critical of her. She feels it may never be the same. She promised she will never do this to me, but secretly I worry. I would never have dreamed it would happen with her sisters.

My oldest two age 27 and 25.
My youngest is 23

It''s been going on for about 1.5 years.
Heartbreaking.

It's extremely painful to be cut off from my grandchildren whom I have a close relationship with. I'm missing out on so much. The missed time can never be recovered.

Opps! I need to correct #4 and 5. Number 4 should be 5+ years too long and #5 should be - age 30.

tearslikerain, my heart goes out to you because of your two children that made a demission for Jesus at a young age. My son did the same thing also. In addition we put him in Christian schools because we felt he needed the additional support and protection from the bullies at public schools. He also had church friends that attended that Christian school also. I am glad that we did that because he still has remained friends with 3 of those throughout his adult years.

I believe it was a good addition to the foundation of his commitment at 9 years old that he later would return to after a period of time that he strayed to some degree. I think that many youngsters that make an early commitment as a child have to "re-evaluate" that as an adult. Parents can teach them, bring them to church and do all the things necessary to prepare them for an adult faith but they need to confirm it on their own at some point in time. I did that myself, I watched my son go through it and it is my "guess" that this may very well be what your 2 daughters are doing at this time. We too went through those "tough times" with him just as you are and are still going through those tough times, although not so much from him, but our DIL. Many pastors’ children will do the same thing. Billy Graham's son is a good example of the Prodigal Son. Perhaps their "I just don't like you" means "I'm rebelling against what you stand for at this time." It is an "on-your-knees-praying" time for us parents that's for sure but take comfort that, if they are truly dedicated Christians, God is not going allow them to be happy and enjoy what they are doing to you in the meantime. From my own experience, the Holy Spirit has a way of doing that. I never really enjoyed my rebellious years!

God Bless

Opps! I need to correct #4 and 5. Number 4 should be 5+ years too long and #5 should be - age 30.

tearslikerain, my heart goes out to you because of your two children that made a decision for Jesus at a young age. My son did the same thing also. In addition we put him in Christian schools because we felt he needed the additional support and protection from the bullies at public schools. He also had church friends that attended that Christian school also. I am glad that we did that because he still has remained friends with 3 of those throughout his adult years.

I believe it was a good addition to the foundation of his commitment at 9 years old that he later would return to after a period of time that he strayed to some degree. I think that many youngsters that make an early commitment as a child have to "re-evaluate" that as an adult. Parents can teach them, bring them to church and do all the things necessary to prepare them for an adult faith but they need to confirm it on their own at some point in time. I did that myself, I watched my son go through it and it is my "guess" that this may very well be what your 2 daughters are doing at this time. We too went through those "tough times" with him just as you are and are still going through those tough times, although not so much from him, but our DIL. Many pastors’ children will do the same thing. Billy Graham's son is a good example of the Prodigal Son. Perhaps their "I just don't like you" means "I'm rebelling against what you stand for at this time." It is an "on-your-knees-praying" time for us parents that's for sure but take comfort that, if they are truly dedicated Christians, God is not going allow them to be happy and enjoy what they are doing to you in the meantime. From my own experience, the Holy Spirit has a way of doing that. I never really enjoyed my rebellious years!

God Bless

1. I have been married for 37 years. It has only been my husband (son too) who share this pain together.
2. I have a son and a daughter
3. It is our daughter who is estranged
4. She has treated her father and I badly for years BUT estranged for 2 1/2 years. She would only acknowledge us 6 times out of the year birthday (2), Mother's Day & Father's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas.
4. Our daughter is 32 years old.

I am a Christian teacher who teaches a christian kindergarten readiness program. Our daughters anger
toward us stems from us loving the Lord. She was raised in a loving Christian home. She resents US
for NOT teaching her about other gods. Why wasn't she given a choice. The estrangement began when
a friend of hers was killed on the side of the freeway the night of Thanksgiving. She called me in deep sadness and when I mention the name of Jesus she came unglued. That is your answer for everything.
I stopped listening when I was a girl and I don't want to hear it now. She has treated US badly for many yeas and we finally stood up and told her we would NOT allow her to treat us this way anymore. We had prayed about this and that is what the Lord wanted us to do. Our daughter continues to tell EVERYONE stories (we are not sure what) but her friends have all cut us off. It is a sad time BUT the Lord is the strength of my life and it is in HIM I must trust. Thank you for letting me share my story.

Welcome! Miss Peggy! So glad you made it here!

It really saddens my heart when I hear stories like yours. I think it is especially painful when the rejection of Jesus is the cause of the estrangement. I have heard that this happens a lot with pastor’s children. I don't know why though.

There is a article previous article on this discussion group about the most common myths of Christian suffering and one of them is that Christians can fall into the trap of believing that if they are a Christian and love Jesus bad things won't happen to them. Along comes a tragedy like your Ed experienced and their faith is shaken to the core. They get angry because their perception is based on a fallacy.

Years ago I knew a young beautiful girl that came from a Christian family and she just radiated the love of Jesus. Then she got ovarian cancer and could never have children. She absolutely loved children. She rebelled and almost hated Jesus because of it. It sure keeps you on your knees doesn't it?
God Bless - Lighthouse

Thanks Lighthouse! Yes, the Lord NEVER told us once we come to know him that life would be one
BIG bowl of cherries. Actually, the trials he sent US will either strengthen our faith or we falter away.
I have many circumstances where my faith has been tested. During this whole estrangement my beloved
godly brother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This was the MOST difficult trial I have ever been in.
My husband and I watched my brother grow so strong in the Lord. We grew so close during his 8 months
of sickness. We thought for sure that his testimony of Jesus would turn our daughters heart. We had to send her an e-mail because she was not talking to us then. The Lord peaceful took my precious brother home BUT our daughter only grew angrier. They can't see God's light and live in darkness and so they get angry at you when you have strength and peace that only the
Lord can provide. My heart still aches for my brother BUT I know where he is. I knew his hope for in
the Lord. My heart is sad because my daughter is lost. So I continue to keep praying and asking
the Lord to continue to knock on the door of her heart. To continue to remind her of her loving childhood
and that someday she will need HIM.

~ with a spouse

~ one child, a son

~ estranged for about 20 years

~ he was around 19 when we found out that he didn't like us at all, we didn't have a clue before that. but he started drugs around that age so we think the drugs altered his thinking. he's 38 now

~ we have 5 total grandchildren we aren't allowed to see

Miss Peggy- Sometimes I think that the people who are the most hostile to God and Jesus Christ are the ones who will more likely turn 180 degrees to Him in time. I have heard of this happening so often.

I think, just my opinion, that the hardest ones are the apathetic ones, who just don't really care one way or the other.

Also, I have a whole extended family of church goers who feel righteous in themselves, go to churches that don't teach the Bible and reject the basic truths of Christianity.... such as the resurection, belief in the Bible, and more! They are another really hard group that are blinded to the truth.

I pray that your ED comes to saving faith and in the meantime.... You and your husband are really blessed to suffer truly for the name of Christ. "Blessed is he who suffers rejection and persecution for my sake!"
That is not a direct quote, but the truth of many scriptures summed up. I think it would be a good idea to pray for a solid Christian girl friend to come into your ED's life and that God would use that person to answer her anger over Christianity and lead her to Christ. I pray that for my ES.

Now to answer the questions:
1. I live alone. (Divorced from a non-Christian man who was abusive, especially to one daughter- I had to call the police. HE then insisted on divorce! I prayed up to the end - but after 2.5 years and his threats to quit dragging my feet, we divorced. After the police coming, we never lived together again. But I did not want to give up that God would still intervene. He chose not to.) That was in 1996.

2. I have one son, born in 1976
I had twin girls, born in 1980 - one of my girls died in June 2009! Words cannot begin to express my
heart over that! BUT I know she was a Christian and lives on in great joy, great love and peace! She
was the daughter whom my husband lost all control with and was trying to strangle her. (Her sister
and I came home from the store to this horrible scene.) All was so very surreal! She was 16 then.
3 + 4. Son is estranged and also cut his twin sisters out of his life at the same time. It has been going on for over 10 years, with just a couple of times of seeing him and his wife. They have one child who just turned a year old last month. I have never been able to see her.
5. He was about 20 when it began.

My remaining daughter is married and has 2 small children! (ES and DIL did not come to the wedding or even return the prestamped RSVP card. Left them so many messages saying how much we all wanted them to come.) Anyway, I am thankful for her and love those children dearly! Without them, I would feel really family poor. But I do also have our Christian family that God has given to each of us. I love Christian sisters! I have always been closer to Christian sisters than my own 2 siblings.

I must say.... about my divorced H - He remarried and they would go 2 or 3 times a year to Jamaica Hedonist Hotels. I had never heard of such things as he would tell the girls!!! YUCK!!! After less than 3 years they divorced. He is now 63 and the saddest man that I know. I cry for him and pray for him. And I have had dinner with him at my daughter's house or even my house. My daughter loves him despite everything. I think that is good...... so much better than being bitter. She sees him for who he really is and says that she just wants a relationship with him. She knows that she has to usually make the calls, etc. But she is ok with that. My dear daughter who died forgave her dad long ago! So many sad sad memories. I have to always be on my guard to look ahead to what God has for all of us and not get sad looking back!

Thanks for reading. I always write too much! :-)

We do all share the exact same pain when it comes to missing our children and our grand children. At times it can bring me to tears in a second even when I least expect it.

I have been married 41 years on April 11.

Three children....girl.....boy....girl

one estranged, oldest daughter age 39

off and on for the last 8 years.....this time 3 years

she was 36

I am also grateful for this site. It so helpful to talk to someone who understands our nightmare. I met a lady on another site that lives near me. We both think God gave us each other to help get us thru this nightmare.

1. on your own or with a sponse?..........divorced after 28 yrs of marriage

2. total children (genders)? ......son is 23 and daughter is 28

3. how many of those children are estranged?...........both are. my son isnt as bad but he simply never calls. I can sometimes get ahold of him by phone, sometimes not.

4. how long has the estrangement been?..........began when they were young teens, seeing their fathers example and they began to resent everything i said/did/thought. if Dad can treat Mama like she is an old dog, well HEY, so can we. We can drink/use drugs/steal/cuss and other lovely behaviors because Dad isnt going to do anything and he will trash Mom if she tries. We got it made!

5. the age of your child when the estrangement first occured?.............cant really remember