I have been praying for so long every day and can not hear his answers. I read the scripture, I reach out to those around me, and yet I still feel alone. I am angry and frustrated and don't now where else to turn. I know there are plenty of people who feel God's presence and I have even as recent as a few weeks ago, but when it rains it pours. I can't seem to wrap my mind around all of this. I am trying to find a viable solution to eeping my kids safe from an abusive father who wants full custody. I have little proof and my children have PTSD and several other related mental problems at the moment including my twelve year old thinking about suicide and self injury to escape his father. The legal system can do nothing to help us since I was negligent in reporting mostly because the kids were too afraid to tell me where the bruises came from until I left, but also because I did not want to accept the fact that my stbx was such a monster. I am trying to heal from his abuse as well and find that I can't sleep or concentrate and the therapist keeps cancelling appointments with me due to court hearings and other scheduling things. It is overwhelming and frustrating and I can't see God, I can't hear Him, I am trying - really searching and feel like I keep pulling an empty flask out of the well. Help, Pray, something. I don't know. I know I tend to rush everything and want answers NOW, but I feel all alone. Like God has abandoned me-at least for now.
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