The reason why I joined this site is because I feel like I have no positive people or better yet good influences in my life at this moment. I need support. I need help staying on track. I am a new believer. I just started going back to church this year and got saved maybe 3 months ago. I love going to church. I love singing and praising God with fellow believers. I just can't seem to stay on the right path. I feel like I keep letting God and myself down. I used to be real bad into drinking and drugs since I was about 16 until a year ago when I met my boyfriend. He has made me into the person who I've always wanted to be. I love him so much and I thank God for him everyday because without him I know I would still be a hot mess to this very day. I used to dress very tasteless. I didn't care what anyone thought about me. I was getting tattoos every other week. Now I am stuck with 11 tattoos on my body that I do NOT want!!!! I was rebellious and reckless. He came into my life and it was like a huge wake up call! I don't know what he did to me but he made me realize that isn't the person I wanted to be. So I slowed down on a lot of things. Still drinking and doing drugs but just less of it. So anyways to make a long story short....3 months ago I asked God for his forgiveness and was saved. I vowed to never touch alcohol or drugs EVER again! I had completely given my life over to Christ well atleast I thought I did. Now I am going through a really hard time with legal matters and family problems and have been drinking and smoking weed again. I feel like that is what I have to turn to when things get tough when I should be on my knees praying and turning to GOD! I just feel like none of my friends care that I am trying to live my life right. They are always asking me to go to the club or bars and I go bc I let others influence me when I should be standing my ground and saying NO! I said NO for 2 months. This past month has been very rough on me and I don't know where my head is. I think to myself all the time how I want to live for God and I love God. I just can't seem to get my life right. I am not trying to be perfect because I know nobody is perfect but I do want to live a drug and alcohol free Christian life.
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I have been reading some books, and also look up Scriptures about gratitude, lately. I get SAD in the winter. We have so much snow, and it is -27C with the wind chill, so I have been trapped inside a lot and feeling sorry for myself. I went to a Ladies focus group and 2 of the women started talking about gratitude. (Another word for it is thankfulness) I just listened, and when I went home, I...