this is my third year in soccer, not because i want to be there but because i feel God wants me to be there. I joined my first year because I felt this need to, but by the second year everyone rejected me and i'm not sure of the reason, the only thing i can think of is that this one boy from the varsity team liked me and that made them all jealous, and not to mention the fact that i'am also a lousy player and can never seem to keep up with the rest because of my excessive fatigue and asthma, and everyone looks down on me because of that and I feel less of a person than they are, i even went up to the captain of the team one time from overhearing rumors to ask and did it very politely if she knew who was causing and starting all this, she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about, and I know for sure someone started something because the day I went back to practice no one said a word to me and completely ignored me, the previous year they would have welcomed me back and said hello (they seemed to accept me the first year i played), the second year there was a terrible cold silence, i knew something was up, but no one would talk to me about it, after that year I decided to not ever go back to that ignorant team again but at the end of the year I felt I had to go back, like it was robbing me of my sleep when I would try to fight it and say no, but every time I closed my eyes I would see a soccer ball, and I even prayed about it, and felt I had to back even though I dreaded it, I tried asking the lord why he would want me to go back after all that and never being accepted, but he still hasn't answered i just feel he wants me there, when i came back this year we had a bunch of new people so I figured I could start all over, but it seems nothing has really changed I'am still the outcast, i'am not very outgoing and i just don't fit in with those people, i barely say a word the whole time im there because i feel uncomfortable and different, it really frustrates me that I have to be there when i cannot seem to keep up and have no one to talk to since even the one person i did have to talk to from last year has rejected me, and now after seeing how crappy I play, the new people look down on me, i feel like a total loser, i'am bad at acedemics and sports, i was hoping i could excel in something but it dosn't look like it, and i know if I quit then i just won't feel right and I will have that nagging feeling again, please help, i'am so confused and upset right now.
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