My parents have been divorced since I was 4 years old, my father and I have never had a very good relationship and I have always lived with my mom. 2 years ago my dad and I quit speaking not by my choice but on his behalf. Recently he has been calling and wants to see me and checks on me because I have been in the hospital with some health problems. Tonight I was out to dinner and I uncontiously dialed his number thinking I was calling my mom. When I heard his voice it clicked and I hung up. I don't know what to do, I miss him so much but I hate him for pushing me away for 2 years, which makes me want nothing to do with him. Sometimes I bring him up around my mom and I can tell she gets hurt because after all she has been there for me when he hasnt and I know she truley loves me. I feel like I have alot on my chest and the pain I feel because of what he has done kills me. It makes me feel like Im not good enough for anyone and I take the frustration out on my mom and she doesnt deserve it. Im so lost I don't know what to do or who to talk to because I live in a small town and nothing is kept a secret so this is my last resort.
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