Child Support & Custody Support Group
This community is dedicated to those involved in child support and custody cases. There are a myriad of challenges involved in any case and this is a safe place to talk about what you're going through with others who may be going through the same. Join the group and seek advice, find or provide a listening ear, or just share your feelings in this support group.
I have a 5 year old stepson and my husband has joint custody and pays child support. The problem is that my stepsons mother acts like she wants him all to herself. She takes the child out of state all the time without telling my husband, never tells us when he is sick, doesn't always let us see him, doesn't even respond to us someitmes, and when we got married she didn't respond to us for almost 6 months.
I love my stepson dearly but I am concerned for his emotional state. His mother is getting married next year and I have now idea what is going to happen with our relatioship with the child when she does.
When he was a baby I fought with his father to see him. It wasn't that he didn't want to see his child is was that he didn't want to deal with the mother. I bought a crib, carseat, clothes, etc so that we could take him. His father loves him very much but he doesn't feel that he has the parent-child bond.
My problem is that since my husband has to pay child support, we can barely survive. My stepsons mother makes double what my husband makes. Why should my husband pay her $$$ when she doesn't let us see the child? I am just very confused on what to do.
How should I resolve this problem?
I love my stepson dearly but I am concerned for his emotional state. His mother is getting married next year and I have now idea what is going to happen with our relatioship with the child when she does.
When he was a baby I fought with his father to see him. It wasn't that he didn't want to see his child is was that he didn't want to deal with the mother. I bought a crib, carseat, clothes, etc so that we could take him. His father loves him very much but he doesn't feel that he has the parent-child bond.
My problem is that since my husband has to pay child support, we can barely survive. My stepsons mother makes double what my husband makes. Why should my husband pay her $$$ when she doesn't let us see the child? I am just very confused on what to do.
How should I resolve this problem?
deleted_user
Does your husband have a custody agreement? This is a MUST. My husband's ex was similar but not quite to this extreme. They did not have visitation specified in the first agreement. My husband (before I knew him) did not have a lawyer and said okay to the agreement his ex wanted when they first split. He had no protection. He couldn't afford a lawyer because of the child support he was paying. He needed a place to live and a place for his kids when he did have them so he did not worry about a lawyer. Anyway - I cannot tell you how important it is to have an agreement written up. It is hell to get it done and $$ for the lawyers but if he wants any kind of relationship w/ his son...with her being this way, this is a must. You mentioned he has joint custody. Get specifics spelled out such as visitation, holiday visitation, summer visitiation. Address the issues of her going out of town, address contact information (such as him being able to call his son). The longer it contines the harder it is to change. Oh - and the sick stuff too...address all of that. I could go on and on, but hopefully this is a start! Don't give up on the little guy! He is 5 like my son and its so important to be there for them...
deleted_user
As soon as I could I had court ordered visitation set up that way there's no question and it can't be said I keep the girls father away from them. Check with your local legal aid department...they do deal with custody cases and maybe able to help you but like timv said this all needs to be in writing if it's not get it if it is find out what you can do legally. Also in the state I'm in CS is determined based on what each parent makes I would also ask legal aid about that because in a true joint custody and she's making more then she should be paying you. GL
deleted_user
My first piece of advice is..... document everything. I dont know if it will help when you are in court or not. Keep all receipts for things you purchase. Write down every time she takes him out of state, noting that she doesnt have consent to do so. Actually, your husband needs to agree to do this, if he doesnt want to make waves there is no point. Mine never wanted to make waves and the **@!? walked all over the situation. Its sad, but I know our state is all about the mother and not the father.
deleted_user
My state is about the mother to. She can spend it on anything she wants and I dont have to know about where it goes. For years she has been doing things with the kids and not including me. The only time she lets me know what is going on in their lives is on my days.
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