
Child Support & Custody Support Group
This community is dedicated to those involved in child support and custody cases. There are a myriad of challenges involved in any case and this is a safe place to talk about what you're going through with others who may be going through the same. Join the group and seek advice, find or provide a listening ear, or just share your feelings in this support group.
What a loser. What a loser. What a loser

deleted_user
I hate him, I hate him, I hate. I just went on line to check if my son made any child support payments. No, why would he. That would mean that he would have to give a crap about his son. The ass owes me $13,800 in back support. I know that there are members that are owed alot more. but, my son just turned 6. His dad only has to pay 404 (With $25 in arrears included) a month. His excuse for not paying? Every two years he takes me to court and tries to have the support reduced. Poor baby has a family. He decided to knock up some other chick twice (married her to get out of paying her support). This is his reason on not paying. He has a family. That's okay, whatever. My son one day just decided to call him uncle. Ha ha ha. He calls my fiance dad. He also decided to take my fiance's last name along with mine (which he already had). Sorry. I just had to ramble about little thought that were comming into my head about my oldest son and his dad.
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I imagine that you're young though. I'm not saying you're wrong, only that time will (hopefully), share with you to direct your hate toward the things that people do instead of the people themselves.
Now I just feel sorry for him.
We have a birthmother who is $5000 behind in child support. She has paid nothing. For anything at all. We recently went the court, and she lied to the judge. The judge took pity on her pathetic lies and reduced her child support to $50/month, with $10/month for back pay. Again, she has paid nothing. Even though she now has a better job and a rich boyfriend.
I would much rather trade with her so she could just go away and leave us alone, and in exchange we would forgive all of her debt. We don't need her money. It'd definitely be 100% worth it if she'd just go away.
Has anybody actually mentioned that to the other parent? The mother of my younger SD is very unstable and is simply unable to raise a child. When BM still had custody, we had the little one almost all the time anyway while her BM still collected CS. Then, my husband slowly fell $800 behind in CS over several months, because his job was comission-only and they were withholding the max from his paychecks, which sometimes did not meet all of the CS requirement. There was never enough on the next check to pay extra and catch up on the CS and we hated every minute of it. Meanwhile, we tried for two years to get custody of the little one and at one time, my hubby actually offered her mother that he would take out a loan and pay her the $800 arrears immediately if she would sign agreed orders to give us primary custody. Get this - she was actually willing to do it!!! Just like that, for $800 she was willing to give up her daughter. The only reason it did not work out was because we said we would send the money through the CS unit so it would be on the record. Finally, the CS got caught up and she moved 8 hours away and voluntarily signed the orders giving us primary custody. And now that she is supposed to pay us the CS - she has not paid a dime either, but we are SO glad that she is gone!
Also, a friend of mine had her son's birthfather's rights terminated so his SD could adopt him. The father had never paid CS since the birth of the boy and maybe occasionally sent a holiday card but had no real contact with his son. In combination, those two factors made it easy for the court to make the decision that the boy is better off being adopted and raised by the stepfather.
Anyway, all that is to say that it might be worth a try to change custody arrangements if you owe or are owed CS. I am all for kids having contact with both birth parents and their extended family if the relationship will benefit the child. If there is no relationship, then the kids deserve to be with those that truly love them and will take good care of them.
I guess in a warped way, I am fortunate to get to see both sides of the situation right in my own home. Good luck to all of you,
tx
I find it works better for me when I make my OWN luck. This way, when it comes around in the form of "bad", I can simply change it to "good". It may sound silly and naive, but you'd be surprised at what works...when everything has failed.
Just...good...k? Get the uck out of there.
If the roles were reversed and you paid what your ex is supposed to pay, could you afford it? I guess your ex is not supposed to have a family or any form of lifestyle because they have children with you. I think the child support system in this country is a joke. It takes two people to lay down and make a baby but only one person gets hosed by the system. Yes, I have been bitten by the child support snake and I am very bitter about it. My children are grown and I no longer pay but I still have anger toward the child support system.
And to Robyn, I totally understand how you feel. My ex lives 2 miles from me, never calls or visits at all. He hasnt made a child support payment in over a year. His wife sits on her ass while he works and supports kids that arent his. My son is 6, he was a good dad up until he got married. its like he just disappeared. I hate him for doing that to my son. I hate trying to explain this to him. He lives 10 minutes from me if that, and hasnt seen my son in 6 months. It sucks.
My ex owes $40K!!! in back support. Many months, years my son had to go without because his dad would simply disappear, and when he reappeared might make a $100 payment if I was lucky. Never mind my son had tattered clothes and I had to qualify him for a special discount on school lunches, etc. because my own income could not cover what his dad and mine did when we were married. If you think the child support sytem is so unfair, perhaps you should do something to make it better. Please, we would like to know just what that is. My simple solution is that we would not even need the child support system if dead beat parents simply paid their fair share! It's not rocket science!
BTW, who got "hosed" here? You or your kids?