Child Support & Custody Support Group

This community is dedicated to those involved in child support and custody cases. There are a myriad of challenges involved in any case and this is a safe place to talk about what you're going through with others who may be going through the same. Join the group and seek advice, find or provide a listening ear, or just share your feelings in this support group.

646 Members
2,113 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Child Support & Custody Support Group

Protecting my "bastard" child

deleted_user
deleted_user
My bf of 3.5 years has been separated from his wife for 4 years. We've lived together for about 2 years. Two months ago we had a son together (unplanned).

Although his estranged wife was the one to leave him 4 years ago and is currently in a 2 year relationship she was appalled he'd get a woman pregnant while married to her and she supposedly talked to a lawyer about adultry. BF is in the military and she has threatened going to his command about his "adultry".

Since we live together, I'm sure I can't file for custody, but is there ANYTHING I can do? He filed for divorce over a year ago, but she refuses to retain a lawyer and respond. She doesn't want to lose his health insurance because she hates using the V.A. (she collects 100%+ disability). She doesn't want to use their facilities for her health care, but she loves collecting $40,000+ tax free a year from them.

But I digress!

Thanks for any advise you can give! :o)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I started dating my husband over a year before he divorced his then wife (they were separated though). She knew about me, and in the process of trying to take him for all he had, she brought up the adultery issue, but it was completely disregarded by the courts because they were separated. I don't think you will have a problem because they don't take adultery very seriously in separation, especially if both parties were involved in another relationship. My guess is that when the divorce goes through, she will file for alimony since she has gotten used to that 40,000 a year, but everything will be ok.

Also, I don't know what state you are in and what it's divorce laws are, but here in Pennsylvania, if one person is trying to get a divorce and the other is not cooperating, then the divorce is granted after 2 years and the uncooperative party automatically forfeits all claims including anything acquired during the marriage and alimony.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That $40,000 is her money... it's her disability money. She also collects SSI and $800/month child support from bf. It's all tax free (well, except for the tax payers who pay her that money).

NY doesn't award alimony anyway even though she seems to think she can get it. She wants his health insurance so she is delaying. She told him as much.

I'm sure there's a period of time here in NY where he could win by default but I'm not sure what that period is. If it's 2 years, he has 8 more months.

Thanks for the reply.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • carrie415

    Widow/Widowers Traveling/Cruise Trips??

    Posted by: carrie415
    Last Reply: Myfavorite
    11
    I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
  • joannklingaman

    Grief

    Posted by: joannklingaman
    Last Reply: lovesloons
    11
    A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...