I started dating my husband over a year before he divorced his then wife (they were separated though). She knew about me, and in the process of trying to take him for all he had, she brought up the adultery issue, but it was completely disregarded by the courts because they were separated. I don't think you will have a problem because they don't take adultery very seriously in separation, especially if both parties were involved in another relationship. My guess is that when the divorce goes through, she will file for alimony since she has gotten used to that 40,000 a year, but everything will be ok.

Also, I don't know what state you are in and what it's divorce laws are, but here in Pennsylvania, if one person is trying to get a divorce and the other is not cooperating, then the divorce is granted after 2 years and the uncooperative party automatically forfeits all claims including anything acquired during the marriage and alimony.

That $40,000 is her money... it's her disability money. She also collects SSI and $800/month child support from bf. It's all tax free (well, except for the tax payers who pay her that money).

NY doesn't award alimony anyway even though she seems to think she can get it. She wants his health insurance so she is delaying. She told him as much.

I'm sure there's a period of time here in NY where he could win by default but I'm not sure what that period is. If it's 2 years, he has 8 more months.

Thanks for the reply.