Okay i was having such a good week last week and i was feeling good about myself. Now today is monday and i am a little irritated and bothered at my Ex and his stupid GF. Okay here is the deal a few weeks back i got depressed and i wanted to take my ex back and i wanted things to work out, but i woke up and realized that things between us weren't meant to be. I believe that in life to get over something so tragic like a divorce you must fall and take a few steps back in order to pick yourself back up and that is what happened to me. I got depressed then i realized and i am totally over it. Well i am not going to lie it hurts me inside a little bit to see him with another chick, but hey it is what it is and i have moved on. Right now i am focusing on making this separation as easy and smooth for our kids. They are still little and very young, but kids understand no matter how old they are. The thing that hurts me the most is that i want the best for our children and my ex says that he wants the best for our children, but it is hard for me to believe that. I am at work right now and i can't even work, my mind is else where. I have asked my ex plenty of times about the living situation where he is at. When we went to court the court told him that he is to get beds for them at his house. Granite he has not done so. He lives with his mom at a 2 bedroom house. The court also told him that he can't drive with them in the car because he has such a bad criminal record. Granite he still does it anyways. I try to have give him the benefit of the doubt and talk with him about these things and he says that he wont drive with them but he lies and does it anyways, he is putting my kids in a bad situation and he just doesnt get it. And i spoke to him about the bed situation, because my daughter came home and told me that my son slept in the same bed as my ex and his GF. Okay i am not sure if i am over reacting but we have only been separated for only 4 months, yes i understand that i can't do anything about it because it is on his time and i can't tell him what he can and can't do when he as them, but i can prevent my son from getting hurt in the mist of things. My son still thinks that my ex is coming home, so he is very confused right now, he is only 3 and he understands what he can understand. My ex gets them every Wednesday and every other weekend but its not a full weekend he gets them Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon. My daughter came home last week and said that they all 4 slept in the bed, my son, my daughter, my ex and his GF. I called him and asked him if he thought that was a good living situation and he agreed after me turning blue in my face from trying to explain to him that it isn't. He had them this past weekend and i know i shouldn't be asking my daughter where she slept at but i did and i went there with her i know it was bad for me to do so, but she told me that they slept on the floor next to her dads bed, i asked her where her dad and his new GF slept at and she said on the bed. So i slept on it and i came to work today and i thought about it, so i called him and i asked him can i ask you a? and he said sure go ahead, i asked him did the kids sleep with you and your GF he said no they slept on the floor, i asked him if he thought that was a good living situation and he said they slept on the floor with a mattress and i said that is not considered a bed. He yelled back at me and cursed and said where the heck do you want me to put a bed and i said to him they could have slept on your bed. I told him that in the court papers he was supposed to get beds. He threw it in my face that he wants to move out with his new GF and so that they can have their own rooms and beds. I told him that i will fight for full custody if he does that, i know i may be over reacting but it is way toooo soon for them to be moving into a new house with him and his GF. They haven't even had the chance to adapt to the change of mom and dad separating, everything has happened way to fast and i won't let him hurt our children anymore then already has. My son has been peeing in his pants for the past month and he has been potty trained for a while now, but for the past month with the whole divorce taking place, he has been peeing in his pants at school and at home and someone from my kids school said that her son was doing the same thing when she was going through a divorce with her husband and she said it is the stress of everything that is going on around him. So i thought about what she said and i totally believe i think that my son is reacting to the situation, so that is why i am so frustrated. And his GF says to me when the last time she called me to tell me in nice words to back off of my ex because she felt worried that i was trying to get him back, she told me that she loves my kids and cares for them, but she doesnt love my kids because she doesnt even know them, she may want to love or learn to love them for the sake of being with my ex but if she cared, in my eyes i think she should step back for bit, if she cared anything about our childrens feelings. I have a male friend but i don't bring him around my children in the beginning i did, only to hurt my ex but i realized that was very childish and dumb on my part and the only ones that were getting hurt were my kids, so i stopped and i don't take my children around him or when i talk to him on the phone i go to another room or i wait until they are asleep. I don't know what to do, i am going to talk to my therapist tomorrow about what is going on and maybe she can give me advice about what she thinks i should or could do. I don't know. Any advice from anyone. Does anyone think I can go back to court with my lawyer and have something done about it. Or should just blow it off and let it go. Am I over reacting and being rational about things.
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