are your children homeless? do they go hungry? they have clothes on their backs shoes on their feet? are their basic needs being met? exactly how much child support do you pay for how many children? are your ex's finances any of your business? seriously, i am not trying to be a smart ass, but is your ex coming to you for extra due to the kids not having all of the above? if not, there is nothing you can do. now, if your kids are being neglected, not fed, homeless, no clothing, ect. you can sue for custody on grounds of neglect, but once the child support is paid to the primary caretaker, its up to them to spend it how they see fit. i am willing to bet whatever you pay in child support is not near enough, this is a tough situation, but it truly is not any business of the payor what the payee spends the cs on. if the daycare is not getting paid, not your problem as long as you have reciepts showing you give ex whatever you are legally obligated to give for daycare. if ex is not paying daycare then that is her problem, you keep your reciepts. make sure your name is not on contract with daycare so they can not come after you. if you are bailing her out of her financial problems, then your not helping her at all. as long as someone is there to catch her, she will never hit bottm and learn. i am not trying to sound harsh, but it is what it is, once again, if the kids are being neglected, prove it and sue for custody. good luck :)

Hi Everybody, I don't know anything about indirect support and I really don't think it exists in my state. But I do understand your frustration. I know legally it is none of the noncustodial parents business where the money goes but why not? If there is nothing to hide, why is it such a big deal? I know for some people the amount of support is barely enough to cover meals. But its not this way for everyone. Its all based on income and for some parents the income is so low that the child support doesn't amount to much or even enough. The experience is different for everybody. I wish someone would figure out what it really costs to take care of a child and if soemone has to work 3 jobs to pay that amount so be it. I feel for parents who don't get enough child support but there are others who get a lot and misuse and its sad. My hubby pays a great amount of support for his children but they are always wearing rags and things that are too small. Mom drives around in a new full size SUV, built a new large home on a few acres and doesn't work. Her husband's income is about $35K (we know from tax records). We can't help but feel like we're paying their mortgage but have to be glad that the children live in a nice home. Its frustrating. It would probably make child support payers more understanding if there was something that showed where the money went. Especially if they wanted custody and the judge gave it to the other parent. Good luck to you and your children.

as long as the children have everything they need it doesn't matter exactly where the money goes because the children are taken care of. Whether it be your money or someone elses money it is all going to help the children in one way or another.

having the responsibility to do what she needs will help her to learn how to be financially stable. It is hard sometimes to let go but you can't control her money just because she spends it differently than you would. You probably don't know all of her situation and she might be doing fine for her. As long as the kids don't suffer, she can be as horrible with money as she wants to be.

I do not pay cs, but my ss's bm has to, and my ex is supposed to. I say supposed to because it is not often consistent and it is a very small amount. you cannot control how she spends the money, and honestly, you should have no say so unless the children are being neglected. Being a financial idiot as you describe it, and neglecting your own children are not necessarily the same things.
I would like to say though, I would have no issue if my ex paid support in that way, as in if he paid certain expenses instead of paying it all to me, because as long as I was getting help it wouldn't much matter to me. but, that is not ever going to happen because he is a deadbeat.

Wait till shes at rock bottom and go for custody if she is p''ss n the money away now there not much you can do unless your children are harmed or homeless you got a shot just wait it out

Are you asking if you can support your child by buying stuff and services directly for the child? Yes.
Does it relieve you of paying child support to your ex? No. You could get a court order I suppose but I've never heard of such a arrangement being ordered. Some couples agree to it.
The others have given you good advise. If the kids are taken care of forgetaboutit.

My bf pays cs adn was giving her extra to buy school clothes every year, school lunches every month, hair cuts, book fares, school pictures, work boots to work around her yard.
What have we seen of the extra money that he gave her? A $350,000 house that her and her bf can't afford on their saleries, two horses, 6 cars, a horse trailer, top of the line laptop and a new matress and box spring for mom and bf. The oldest boy got their old one which was caving in the middle giving them back problems. But since it's not on a bed frame it doesn't sink in because it's on the floor.
I wish we could do direct support. His cs is supposed to go mainly towards daycare. They don't go to day care. They go to her mothers. But he's still paying for day care.