Child Support & Custody Support Group

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helping a young mum in trouble with docs

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am 28 married and have 4 happy healthy children. My problem is i want to help a young mum who is 8 months pregnant with her third child. The first 2 were taken by DOCS because of her drug use, and involvement with her partner, who has a criminal record and also a drug user. She has asked me if she can come stay with us to sort herself out. She hasn't taken drugs in 2 months and has the urine tests to prove it and she wants to leave the partner to come stay with us. What I need to know is what steps we have to take for her to be able to keep this child, and also what will I have to go through with DOCS if she is staying with me. Surely they will want to interview us and check things out. Is it worth the trouble to help or should I just stay out of it and hope she does things herself. I dont want to put my children in harms way but I feel i should help as she's asked me for it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think if she could prove her continued abstance you should give her a chance.
The odds against her getting off drugs at that age are slim but not none. It can happen. Even if she fails you'll have helped her along as sometimes it takes many tries before they quit. This maybe the one of many that is required before she can make it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is very heart warming that you want to help this woman. However, it seems to me that by taking her in you could be putting your family in harms way. It sounds as if by lettingher into your home you may be inviting drugs into the home and there is a possibility her partner will follow (rather invited or not) and this could introduce violence into your home.

DOCS should have services available to this woman or should be able to direcet her to organizations that can help her. These organizations will get her the therapy, treatment, and education necessary for her to succeed. By helping her get set up with such organizations you will be providing her a greater service than you can give her by letting her into your home.

Please think carefully about letting a drug addict into your home. If DOCS finds out they may remove your children as well as the unborn baby.
treetree
treetree
If you do, make strict rules about the people you want in your house and no drugs and if she steps over the line let her understand the consequences.
treetree
treetree
call docs and see what they can do or help you with.
kidsintowe03
kidsintowe03
I agree with Thomi - you could be putting your own children in harms way inadvertantly. It shows your heart to want to help this woman out, but is it in the best interest of the house? I would proceed with great caution. There is a for sure reason why she hasn't been seen as a fit mother before and it would cause a great pause for me to want someone around my children like that.
deleted_user
deleted_user
wow big heart wrong place.
it's gods calling to help others, but make sure you're helping the ones at home first.
Sometimes prayer is the best help.He will take care of his own. He doesn't expect you to cause he's gonna help those who help themselves. so continue taking care of your self by putting your children first no matter what.If you could take a bullet for your kid than you can handle setting limits of what you really can and can't give. What if it doesnt work out,anythings possible right? then what? Is it worth having to look back and live with that, you know it sounds chancy or you wouldn,t be asking
Thriver
Thriver
I feel there is some risk also to your children and your tranquil home life, but seeing as she is 8 months pregnant, she probably needs a safe place to give birth and come 'home' to. One month is not long - maybe you can say that she can stay for a few months until she gets back on her feet after the birth and then she has to find someplace else. It must be scary for her to be on her own now. Also, she has to swear not to tell anyone at all where she is, to avoid the partner coming around. Does she not have family?
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