Child Support & Custody Support Group

This community is dedicated to those involved in child support and custody cases. There are a myriad of challenges involved in any case and this is a safe place to talk about what you're going through with others who may be going through the same. Join the group and seek advice, find or provide a listening ear, or just share your feelings in this support group.

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deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm in such a mess, I'm 35 weeks pregnant and my ex said today if I do my nursing course next year, he wants the baby. He says if I'm studying 37 hours a week the baby should be with him, not my mum or a babysitter. I wouldn't have a problem with this- if he didn't live 3 hours away! He wants my son o stay with him in the week. He's saying he'd 'let me see him whenever I want', I said no way but he said he's not having our son be 'fobbed off' onto my mother (who is more than happy to take care of him). He says the baby should be with a parent. I've had 2 panick attacks since this 'talk'! We'd agreed in the beggining we didn't want to tak it to court. I really think I#'m going to have to re-consider my degree. I'm so scared he'll take my baby, my family home is un-stable but I have nowhere else to go. He will use this against me. What am I going to do?! I don't want to be apart from my little boy!
Thriver
Thriver
Hold on. what is his schedule? Will you actually be in class 37 hours? Do you plan to breastfeed? How will you do that if the baby is with him? How is your family unstable? Can he move closer?
Can you study part-time?
Get a lawyer. It does not sound like the collaborative approach is working.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can't do the course part-time, if needs be I will just not do the course, but the quicker I get my degree, the better for me and the baby. It is 37 hours a week in class, I wish they offered it part-time. I am planning on breastfeeding, and that's another reason the baby shouldn't be with him! My younger brother has aspergers syndrome, he is violent. My sister is also violent. They live in the same house as me, and I can't get another house as I have to money and the council won't give me one because I'm not homeless. He could say the baby is at risk in this house, social services and the police have been involved with my brother and sister. There's a lot he could drag up. I know the baby would not be at risk here, my sister already love hims dearly and would never hurt a child, neither would my brother. It's such a mess, I don't know what to do, what are his chances of custody?!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Don't know the laws in Germany but if he works wouldn't that be 40 hours? where would your son be during that time? With you it's family... with him... what? Also with the baby not born you can not put him on the birth cert and then he has to prove paternity before he can do anything more - that might buy you some time - but I really suggest speaking to a lawyer.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You postpone your career one year and take care of your infant.

Then you two can discuss this stuff.
deleted_user
deleted_user
he cant take your baby away from you based on your siblings disabilities unless they have actually hurt your child. no difference in u going to school and leaving baby with sitter/family and him going to work and doing the same. one more thing, i am raising my stepson that has autism who was extremely violent until he got the right medication AND the right therapy/parenting for his autism. ask your parents to get your brother the help he needs not only for his sake, because believe me his life will change for the better if he needs meds to control his aggression, but for the entire families sake as well. the meds have changed my stepson in ways that are amazing, if he brings up your brother then you have proof that he is being treated for his problems.
deleted_user
deleted_user
look on line for a program that you can take and be at home. Or postpone your schooling a year or two. If you plan on breastfeeding it will be harder to do so if you are in class every day.
deleted_user
deleted_user
he can't do crap without a court order and since your not married to him you have a case. Don't let him sign the papers at the hospital or any other papers. then he'll pay out of his but first, then while that is going on i advise you to find a home to your self, get a part time job and stable yourself as much as possible or you could lose but i highly dought it.
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