Child Support & Custody Support Group
This community is dedicated to those involved in child support and custody cases. There are a myriad of challenges involved in any case and this is a safe place to talk about what you're going through with others who may be going through the same. Join the group and seek advice, find or provide a listening ear, or just share your feelings in this support group.
I am a mess. For 3 years I raised mny grandson. he was my heart and soul.
My son's ex left the baby for an internet boyfriend, and my son went off the deep end, drugs, partying, bitter.
I took over and loved, and nutured this child as if he was my own.
I didn't protect myself, thought she would never return, well she did and has been awarded custody, and has removed him to another state. She does not acknowledge me or answer e-mails, gifts or letters.
I sleep wioth his balnket, can't bear to be around other people who have children, too many triggers.
It has been 6 months,and I am getting worse. I am not functing, working, or eating or sleeping.
Where do I fit in? He has "new" grandparents now, and calls this boyfriend daddy.
My son has been trying to go back to court, and has been sober and working hard.Attorneys are draining every penny we have, so even if he is awarded visitaion HE has to fly to get the child and it requires 3 roundtrip tickets for that one visit.
Christmas is here, and I am so sad. I have lost all hope and faith. Will he ever remeber me? My son never bonded with him, they were both 18 when the baby was born. They lived with me until the divorce and the baby continued for the next 3 years in my home.
I feel like I have nowhere to turn, and life has lost all meaning.
I am resentful of my son, but still love him. Initially he had full custody so I never thougth once that I had to have any legal rights to the child, I just thought I would help out until he was able to get his life together and then I would live nearby and just be a grandma, but he gave up his rights (FULL CUSTODY!!!!!!) ( this was before he became sober and a mature adult) now he is in another custody battle and since the child is out of state the reality is very slim he will have anything awarded but visiation.
How do you go from being fulltime parent, to seeing the child once or twice a year?
I feel like have been robbbed! I have nowhere to turn.
Are there any grandparents who hearts are broken because of simaliar issues???
Any help would be appreciated ~
My son's ex left the baby for an internet boyfriend, and my son went off the deep end, drugs, partying, bitter.
I took over and loved, and nutured this child as if he was my own.
I didn't protect myself, thought she would never return, well she did and has been awarded custody, and has removed him to another state. She does not acknowledge me or answer e-mails, gifts or letters.
I sleep wioth his balnket, can't bear to be around other people who have children, too many triggers.
It has been 6 months,and I am getting worse. I am not functing, working, or eating or sleeping.
Where do I fit in? He has "new" grandparents now, and calls this boyfriend daddy.
My son has been trying to go back to court, and has been sober and working hard.Attorneys are draining every penny we have, so even if he is awarded visitaion HE has to fly to get the child and it requires 3 roundtrip tickets for that one visit.
Christmas is here, and I am so sad. I have lost all hope and faith. Will he ever remeber me? My son never bonded with him, they were both 18 when the baby was born. They lived with me until the divorce and the baby continued for the next 3 years in my home.
I feel like I have nowhere to turn, and life has lost all meaning.
I am resentful of my son, but still love him. Initially he had full custody so I never thougth once that I had to have any legal rights to the child, I just thought I would help out until he was able to get his life together and then I would live nearby and just be a grandma, but he gave up his rights (FULL CUSTODY!!!!!!) ( this was before he became sober and a mature adult) now he is in another custody battle and since the child is out of state the reality is very slim he will have anything awarded but visiation.
How do you go from being fulltime parent, to seeing the child once or twice a year?
I feel like have been robbbed! I have nowhere to turn.
Are there any grandparents who hearts are broken because of simaliar issues???
Any help would be appreciated ~
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I was franted nothing, just I would see him when son gets him... but if she continues to be hard to communicate with around visiation times itishard to buy tickets last minute.
She left in May 2007 to In, my son lives in Or so it rquires 3 round trip tickets to pick up return home for visitatrion then return the child back to Indianna. So it would have cost $600.00 in june or july to buy tickets but we had no contact phone numbers to make arrangements then the prices went sohigh this december $1,700.0 for 10 day visit...everything is so hard witht his girl, at first sge was refuses to allow the abby to go , it took more attroneys and a threat of contempt of court to get her to agre to the visit, but by then the prices were to high and after paying for attroney fees none of could scrape up the money.'
The next visit is June, so it will be over a year beforwe we see him again.
It is so complicated, expensive and overall awful. I have been so overcome by grief I can't handle life.
She still does not take phone calls, so my son can't speak top his son, much less me.
We are once again trying to ask for a make-up visit and to enforce the weekly pnone calls...the hearing is set for dec 12, but she does what she wants, ansd is so far away and the money is always a factor, she is never paid a dime toward.
She wants us out of her child's life, and some how we will find a way to make this all work out..in time I guess.
In the mean time I struggle, he was at my side daily for so long, how can the judges, Goid be so cruel?
Well, the stepmother was abusive to the little one and barely let her see her family ever again. It was so sad because this child was loved and cared for and then sad and removed. She still searches for pictures and stories about her mother that died, longed for my Aunt and her grandmother, and all of that was taken away. For what? Her father and new stepmother really didn't want her. But, my aunt had never taken the legal steps either.
So, how will you go on? There's a site you can look into. It's paawareness.org The content is about parental alienation and you certainly have been the child's mother in my opinion. It's only icing on the cake that you're the grandmother, too.
But, on this site, they have very creative ideas on communicating with a child who has been removed maliciously like that. For instance, communicating by telling the child stories about your times together, making a photo book of your friends and family. Singing a song, making a tape, enticing familiar smells by spraying the card with your perfume, etc. (That's if this mother will allow them to be received.)
Other than that, I know the longing in your heart and it's grieving a loss with a hollow feeling all the time. So, write letters and keep them at your house for the time when you can give them to him.
Legally, you AND your son have rights of visitation, but that requires that you have representation.
You are in my prayers and I hope that you can sort this out. I just don't understand how parents can come and go in their child's life on a whim.
And your son needs to tow the line as far as his own life is concerned. The courts are going to be brutal to him and substance abuse will be brought up every time. So, he better get documentation that he's clean and ready for healthy parenting even if it starts with visitation.
Hugs to you. RB