Child Support & Custody Support Group

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Forgive past due childsupport?

deleted_user
deleted_user
My ex called and put his mother on the phone, she asked me to write a letter stating I forgive him of his past childsupport (18,000!!) on his promise or should I say word that he will continue to pay his present due childsupport. It bothers me for many reasons, one being he has never ever kept his word on anything, ever. Secondly, if I do this for him I feel he will stop paying for another 7 years and just want me to write another letter and he will have never taken any responsibility for our son! He does nothing for our boy, nothing. He lives in another state but I let him have half summers as well as phone calls whenever. (which he has made me regret simply because he will call all hours of the night for no reason) He is disrespectful to me and my family because he feels he can. My husband wants me to write the letter, stating everyone deserves a second chance...but really, does he deserve one? Would you do this for your ex? Remember, he pays nothing towards medical or anything, this is his second month of actually paying his childsupport, second month in 9 years! Ugh, I hate this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
sorry I would have to say no, he is just as responsible for that child as you are and chose not to be. Your the one who had to struggle with this not him... if you are seriously considering I def wouldn't do without stipulations... make him prove himself...after a year of steady payments then do it... Sure I agree with your husband that everyone deserves a second chance but he's already got that with his visitation.
deleted_user
deleted_user
your child deserves that money think about college cost and other unexpected cost. I would never forgive the back child support my ex owes me. He helped make that child he needs to help support that child til the age of 18 and if he still owes back child support when your son turns 18 he still has to pay that to you. My Ex tried to get me to stop going thru child support enforcement so that he would not have to lose his tax return every year I told him to F--- off. He has hurt my girls way to much mentally by not being in thier lives by his choice i feel he can pay what he owes. Stand your ground make him pay every penny he owes!!!! Your son deserves it thats alot of money that can help your son.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Why? HELL NO I say!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am not in this situation, but my sister is. She has already forgiven her ex #13000 in childsupport once and then stopped the collection of the $23000 that he currently owes. Yep, that is $36,000 dollars that he is behind. It has only been within the past 6 months that he has actually been paying it regularly and that is because it is being garnished from his paychecks. He has quit jobs so he doesn't have to pay childsupport.

So in a nut shell...no I don't think you should forgive the back childsupport. It would be one thing if he really couldn't pay it, but really if he had to work 2 jobs just to send you $50.00 a month then that is what should be done.

Your DH thinks he deserves a second chance? What about your son? Will he be able to go back in time and go to Chucky Cheese or get that new pair of shoes he needed? I don't think so.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Absolutely not. You and your child deserve it, but in the back of your mind, you need to have a plan to survive without it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would say never. You don't know what your future hold. My ex went through job to avoid paying support or is pas due's. I talked to my son when he was 18 and told him wecan forgive or forget it. that it was now up to him. I figure this way they could build a relationship with out the money problem. My son said NO! So we continued with the support for the ast due's. I am so thankfull my son said no. You see my son past away in August of this year. His father and nor his family helped buried my son. We threw car washes and had to do donations. Not one cent came from the other side. over 12,000 had to be raised in a week. I am still collecting the support cause they way I see it is he is helping with the last part of my sons life weather he like it or not. Clenon desreved that best from both parents.
Thriver
Thriver
How about telling him that if he never misses another payment until the child grows up, then you will forgive it, or settle for half.
Thriver
Thriver
Ps and to get out from behind his mother's skirttails.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am rasing my grandsons, 7 and 10. Their mother actually asked for the child support back???? So, I figured that since it goes into their savings account, they should be the ones to decide. Never underestimate a kid with money! Not only NO, but they said hell NO! They didnt think on it a bit. They know how long it took us to start getting that money coming and they know its for them. The youngest has a dead beat dad that owes him about $30,000 and do you think he will forgive him that? Not on your life. It's the kid's right to have child support from the missing parent. You are paying, he should too. They are his kids too.
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