i'm drinking again tonight. some times it numbs me but then some times it lets me feel the things that i try to hide like my anger over where i am in my life. i should be further along in life than where i am and it frustrates me that i continue to allow others to dictate to me what i should be and where i should go. i have not ever been able to achive any dream that i have ever had. and i end up sabatoging every good relationship (friend or otherwise) because altemately i feel like i am no better than what i have been given in my life. how can i make sure this doesn't happen with Jon? he is so good to me, he is kind, understanding, and supportive. he is everything that i have looked for!! i don't want to end up pushing him away in the end because i feel that he is too good for me. how do i stop this cycle of self distruction? Send to a Friend Share This
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