My parents seperated when we were babies. My twin sister and I stayed with our mother. The first 5 years of my life I just remeber our mom having parties and having different men around all the time. I remeber hearing her having sex all the time and being terrified I thought she was getting hurt. I didn't not understand. I rember the police coming to the house all the time because she was always threatening to kill herself. I remeber her boyfriend burning us with his cigs all the time. BUT I always loved her. I always thought she was so beautiful. She was so funny and radiant. My sister and I pretty much took care of ourselves. Iloved my siter so much. When we were 5 we moved in with our father and his new wife. His new wife did not like us to much because she was constantly beating us. Punching us in the face, kicking us in the ribs. She would hit us while we were the phone with our mom and she would come over the house and she would video tape her through the sliding glass door getting angry and cll the cops and we would have to watch her gettin arrested and out step mom would just laugh. As we got older she just got colder. And as we went through puberty she began touching our private parts and watching us in the shower. She came to my bed one night and tried to kiss me on the mouth and when I turned my head slapped me across the face. She began to starve us as well. She would take a belt a beat us all over our body, evry where. We would have welts all oevr the place. My grandmother called the cops one time and they asked me right in FRONT OF MY STEP MOM!! if I wAs afraid of her. I said I don't know because I was to scared to say yes. So they left me there. AFter they left., we came back inside and she started laughing, she made me call my mom and punched me in the face and pulled the phone cord out of the wall. I felt so hopeless. I remeber watching her punch my sister in the ribs and face. I think that hurt me the most. She didn't desrve that!! My mother finally got custody back when we were 12. BUT that is when she statrted giving my sister cocine, estcy, acid, you name it, they did. I had no idea. I thoguht they were just getting drunk and smoking weed. They did drugs fir a couple of years, our mother would tret us like we were dogs, if you walked into our home. it waas like we dint exist. No picture, nothing. she would tell us she hated us. She peed on our beds. My mother was driving with my sister and she was high and got into an accident that left my sister without an eyelid, her eyeball was hanging out of her eye socket. She finally told that my mother was high. She became a ward of the state at 14 and went intpo a rehab facilty. Icame home from school about 9 months later and found my mother dead. She commited suicie. Her last words to me were I ruined her life. How do I let go of my anger????
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