This is a hard for me to write and as I sit here I can't get a grip on my emotional state. I can't decide if I am sad, mad or even relieved. You all know my story so I won't digress and repeat it. I have to let you all know that you were so right and I was so naive. My love called me last night and he was so upset, he told me that his soon to be ex-wife had asked if she could stop by his new place so they could talk. He said he preferred to meet at Starbucks but would be happy to talk about whatever she wanted as he wants her to have the easiest transition possible as they settle into being divorced. She insisted that she wanted complete privacy for this conversation, because she did not want to become emotional in front of other people. He of course agree to have her over. He called and told me about their conversation right after they hung up. I was supportive because I don't want her to hurt anymore than she does. So she came over and he said he knew something was off the minute she took off her coat because she was dressed very skimpily and she does not dress that way. She is a heavy woman and usually wears fairly conservative clothes. To make a long story less long she proceeded to try and sexuce him into having sex with her. She told him that she wanted him like she has never wanted him before and that there was no reason why they shouldn't have sex as they are not divorced yet. She basically offered to become the OW and said I never needed to know. He was honestly poleaxed as they have not been sexual with each other in several years. He turned her down and she turned on the tears. Telling him she never wanted the divorce and that she still loved him. She refused to leave his house, he had to threaten her with calling the police if she didn't go. There was much more that she said about me and him and their marriage but it's to much to write. She finally left but told him that she would not stop until she got him back. I am so confused by her behavior???? She didn't want him when she had him, she refused to go to counseling she never put any effort into trying to fix their relationship. Now that there divorce is a week or two from being final she decides she wants him back??? I know that many people are thinking I am getting what I deserve and probably are rooting for her to win, and I get it. I am the odious OW, but I walked away time and time again to give them a chance to fix what was broken. I met him when he was legally seperated and she knew we were together for 90% of our relationship. She choose to stay married legally but live like roommates. I know now that maybe it was her pride or her survival instincts causing her to act like she didn't care... But how long do we have to feel guilty and cater to her because we love each other. Do I have the right to confront her to be upset or do I just accept that she will always have the right to behave anyway she wants because she met and married him first. Maybe I deserve this and it's my punishment for falling in love with a man who was mentally divorced just instead of legally divorced. Feeling confused.
Posts You May Be Interested In
My situation is this: my wife and I dated for three and a half years and were engaged for about one year before we got married - so four and a half years all together. During the second and third year, I was in what I now realize was an EA with a person I’ve been friends with for almost 20 years. We communicated exclusively online, and never saw each other in person during that time because we...
I've come here because I've been trying to find a place to talk with people who understand what I'm going through, and this seems to be the only place that might even remotely provide that kind of experience. Please understand - I'm not looking for anyone to validate what I've done. I'm not looking to make excuses, or blame anyone else for my actions. I alone am responsible for my choices. I know...