Maybe because he figures that you will get a whole lot of the assets so he better do this for her now because once you are through with him he won't be able to do it later.

I can think of four possible reasons:

(1) What ami said.

(2) She has dirt on him that could make things go very badly for him in divorce court, and is blackmailing him.

(3) He intends to commit to a full-time relationship with her as soon as terms of separation are settled, and he's getting a head start. She knows that he's capable of cheating, obviously, so she may be insisting on some kind of evidence to the effect that he's sincere about committing to her.

(4) He feels guilty as hell over what happened, and since he can't alleviate that guilt through you, he's doing it through her.

Please bear in mind that these are all guesses. I am not a psychologist and I could be dead wrong about every one of them.

Thank you all so much for your insight.
I'm just amazed that after thirty years of marriage and two children together, he's turned into someone I don't even recognize.He's always been extremely cheap so I'm amazed that he's doing this for her now, before we're even divorced. Surely it won't look good for him that he's done this?

I don't really know how the courts would see this Julia. It seems that long ago a cheating spouse meant something in the courts. From what I hear from most people it doesn't mean squat anymore in most states. I keep hearing that if it is a 50/50 state then the affair that destroyed the marriage is not really significant.

The one thing I am wondering, is how is he able to spend this much money on her with your divorce not final. Again I don't really know how this works, but I was under the impression that funds are kind of "frozen" while you wait for divorce. At least "frozen" in that big purchases are kind of no-no. Or have you guys already split assets and checking/savings account and so on?

Isn't the whole concept of marriage kind of funny these days. Most people have a church ceremony, with a license from the state to do it. There is to be a separation of church and state so which one really governs the marriage. Then they talk about marriage as a contract, yet if someone does not hold up their end of the contract it is no big deal. You can get out of your contract as long as you pony up the money to a lawyer and the courts, with no other repercussions to you.

When I got married it was to be for life. I planned my future with this man. I set my path for my life based on what the two of us agreed we wanted together. Now I am in a position that one move from him could alter my future drastically and turn my world upside down. In all honesty if I thought for one minute that I could end up divorced from this man, I never would have married him. I never would have had children with him.

I didn't have children so that I could share my time with them with their father split up. I didn't have children with the plan of not being able to be with them 100% of the time. I don't want to be a part time mom. I don't want to split my holidays in half and have to skip every other Thanksgiving or Halloween so they can be with their dad. I lived that life as a kid and it sucked. I never wanted that for my children or for me. Now I am in a position where I truly have no control over that happening to me or not. If he decides to leave me; I am now a part time mother. I have to give my children up and be without them half of their lives. Not only that but if he leaves me and goes to her, I have to let my children be around someone that I don't, can't, and won't ever believe has their best interest at heart. She has already proven they come second to the things that she wants. I know she will be bad for them, but because he doesn't they will have to pay for his ignorance.

Sorry, strayed a bit in topic. My main point is that if a marriage has to disolve because of the selfish act of another or if a marriage is disolved and it is not what both parties wanted, then the one who caused it or requested it should have some repercussions. I don't exactly know what those repercussions should be, but they should have to pay.

I tend to agree that he's afraid he won't be able to "take care of her" after. It sucks!

It sucks big time. Fair enough if he wants to start a new life with her but at least play fair. grrrrr