My god how could i not see that by having an affair i would ruin my entire life and my husbands? i have lost EVERYTHING. this really is so freaking awful. I have learned my lesson and wont ever get involved in something so awful again. What a mess, what a shame. How does anyone deal with this shit? Someone please tell me how not to go to bed at night half hoping my heart magically stops beating and i dont wake up.......i feel so ashamed, so judged, so scared and lost. so shitty. sometimes i think it would be better for me just to stop hoping my husband will want to be with me again and completely shut myself off to the possibility. i guess part of me wonders if i even can be with him and be happy myself after all of this. my god cheating really does ruin lives. i dont see how anyone could see the pain something like this causes and do it again and again and again. be a serial cheater. i met someone recently who cheated on both of her previous husbands for years and she still cheats. this does not make sense to me. i dont get it.
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