What hurts the most? The humiliation? The blow to your ego? The disappointment? The love? For me I think it is the disappointment in myself for making such a mistake. It hurts me daily, hourly even. It hurts that I hurt someone that I loved and cared for by being selfish, that is disappointing more than anything. I think my H is hurt most by disappointment as well, he is truly disappointed in me beyond the point of forgiveness. But why are we so disappointed? Are we not human, do we not make mistakes? If we are disappointed doesn't that mean we are somehow so full of pride we don't think ourselves capable of making any such mistakes? Does the same go for ego? Humiliation? The only truly just sorrow it seems to me is the pain of loving someone despite all their faults, it hurts but it is selfless and therefore true. If we don't feel this way, is it just that our love wasn't true to begin with?
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