You need to cut all ties. You can't even be friends, if he was going to leave his wife for you he would have done it by now. Are you not happy with your spouse. FORGET the MM and figure out what you want. Ask your self is he really making you happy when you write a post like this? He is hurting you. Talk with your husband and then move on be it rebuilding with your husband or with someone new & single. Some one that can HONESTLY make you happy and not lie to you or have you put your life on hold while they live theirs. GOOD LUCK !!!

sandysnow, the sooner you end it the better for both of you. I can only lead to more hurt for both of your families. It is tough to let go, but you will be happier in the future. Cut-off all ties with him if possible, switch jobs, don't try to remain friends because it will not work.

I so agree with Tearful and Ibex. I didn't end it when I should have - I completely understand the feeling of being addicted to someone so I know how much it must be hurting you. I wish I could tell you how to make that pain go away, but I can't.

What I CAN tell you is that if it goes on and your affair is discovered, the pain, anxiety and fear that will result will FAR exceed the pain of leaving behind a friend. I am going on my second week of having my affair exposed and the shame, guilt and deepest feelings of loss that I have EVER felt are still just as raw as when it finally came out. If your marriage is not working, fix things the right way - separate or talk it out with your husband. Don't let it all fall apart because of a relationship with someone who may just be a symptom of a larger problem and not "the real thing".

Again, I really do completely understand how much it hurts. But I'm on the other side of the fence now and please believe me when I say it is catastrophic to say the least.

My thoughts are with you as are my wishes for peace in your heart and mind.

hey it could be worse - u could be me- the married man won't leave me alone ! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! sometimes i want to scream at the top of my lungs- why did i ever do this? and why won't he go away! and wanted to say i totally agree with tearful and ibex - CUT ALL TIES! HE WILL KEEP COMING BACK IF U KEEP LETTING HIM IN - BLOCK HIM OUT OF UR MIND, UR LIFE, EVERYTHING, OR ITS GONNA COME BACK TO BITE U IN THE BUTT BIG TIME ! hope u get through this- and want to let u know- i'm here for you ! sending good thoughts and prayers ur way..........

If you want to save your marriage you need to end it. Period. I know it will be hard especially if you have come to relay on him emotionally but it has to be done. Working together is a hard one. You need to keep it professional and do what you can to keep your distance if that is possible. - Good Luck.