I've been married for 10 years and with my husband for 15. I have 2 older sons (college senior and college freshman) by my first marraige and we have a 10 year old. For many years I've noticed that my husband was more and more irritable. He had an unstable job situation and me and my children paid the price. I work full time and make decent money so we never were really in trouble although his income was important. But when he was finally forced to retire because he couldn't find work after his last job ended, he was angry, irritable and downright unpleasant to live with. I began spending more and more time away from home. I like workin gout so I starting attending a gym. Since I've never had time to make many friends I was pleased that I got to meet people that I enjoy, made me laugh, listened to me and made me feel good. My husband has NO friends but me. We don't talk much and when we do, he talks over me, or tell me that I'm wrong etc. So a new group of people were great.
Mind you, for at least 5 years I've been telling my husband the same damn thing: Treat me better. Stop being so irritable. Be nicer. Stop treating my like you resent me and on and on it went.
About a year ago, I began a relationship with a man from my gym. I know it seems impossible that before I knew what was going on, I was in love with thie man. There was NO turning back.But had I known that I was going down this rabbit hole, I would have stopped. But in retrospect, I'm so glad I didn't know enough to stop it because he is everything I've wanted in a partner.
My husband began to feel me pull away and it has been difficult ever since. He's tried everything to try to control the situation but it's too late. Although I've asked him for a separation 3 times, he refuses to leave (and I'm not leaving my kids). So recently he decided that we could separate while living in the home so as to keep as much stability for our daughter and my 18 year old who doesn't live on campus. But the problem is that he gets angry everytime I want to do something. I went for drinks with my sister and he was upset. I went out to dinner with a girlfriend and he got upset. I have plans to go to dinner with a girlfriend from my gym but I haven't said anything yet because I don't want to deal with his attitude. He uses his attitude to control me.
But for my kids I'd be gone. I feel so stuck.
I never meant to cheat. I promise. I happened before I ever knew what was happening. Has this happened to anyone else? When I try to explain this to others I feel like they don't believe me.
My situation is this: my wife and I dated for three and a half years and were engaged for about one year before we got married - so four and a half years all together. During the second and third year, I was in what I now realize was an EA with a person I’ve been friends with for almost 20 years. We communicated exclusively online, and never saw each other in person during that time because we...