My H had a depression episode followed by 5 years of cheating. Trust me, the 5 years of cheating did not cure his depression or make him feel appreciated. In fact the opposite happened. After his revealing the cheating (last year), he has figured out some things and has been lifted out of the depression. We went through the hell that revealing causes. He never looked at his relationship with the OW realistically, until he told me. Only then, could he see that the affair was like a sick addiction, a crutch to deal with his own issues of low self-esteem and his crappy feelings about himself. As a cheater, you need to work on yourself and your marriage. The affair is a symptom of your inability to communicate your needs. An extremely passive-aggressive way to deal with a problem. You choose to cheat, get that, a decision you made. You can choose to stop and deal with your life, or you can continue to live a lie, a secret, something you are ashamed to let your family and friends know about. If the OM/OW really cared about you and you cared about them, nobody would be in a situation where they are in danger of losing everything. Get that, the affair is putting you in danger of losing everything. Tell me, is it worth it?
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