I'm new to the group. I recently cheated on my husband. This situation lasted for about two weeks. Toward the end of the two weeks, I tried to remove myself from the situation by not going over to this guys house to hang out with his wife. And before I just quit going over there, when I did go I stayed right by his wifes side (because I had become really good friends with her) My husband is a very good man. We have been married for five years and I could not ask for a better person. I didn't sleep with the other man, only kissed him on a few occasions. He instigated the activity and I am not the first one he has done this to. I got in a bad situation and started drinking and smoking pot. I feel that this had alot to do with what happened. I am bipolar and take a mood stabilizer to keep myself under control. I have extremely low self esteem due to molestation and rape in my childhood. In my mind I was justifying the kisses as a validation to my attractiveness. My husband does not understand this because he doesn't know what rape and molestation can do to the mind. I never went to counseling or received help in dealing with what happened to me. I feel like he's blowing it out of proportion because I never had sex with the guy, although he wanted me to. The other guy tried to get me to talk dirty to him on the phone and send him dirty pics. I refused to do any of it. He wanted me to come over to his house and have sex with him. Out of nervous embarrasement, I didn't immediately say no because I had never been in that situation before and wasn't sure how to handle it. I had no intention of going over there. I had already started pulling myself away from the situation. I understand that I should have stopped the first time and told my husband and taken myself out of the situation. But the attention I got felt good somewhere deep inside. Am I crazy? Is there levels of cheating? Is a kiss just as bad as having sex? Please help!!
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