Caring For Aging Parents Support Group

Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.

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How do I convince my dad to see the doctor?

My 78 year old father has high bloodpressure and takes meds for that, but his doctor won't renew his prescriptions until he gets a physical to make sure the dosages are right (it's been over a year since his last doctor office visit.) Dad refused to go to the doctor's office. He didn't give any reason why- just that he didn't want to go.
I talked with dad's doctor and arranged for a home health care doctor to come to visit my dad. That went OK for a couple of visits,but now Dad is refusing to see the home health doctor too. I'm at my wit's end.... If Dad won't see the doc then his blood pressure meds won't be re-filled. I've explained that to him - he is capable to understand it, I think- but he seems to think the "pills don't do me any good" . This is very worrisome and frustrating to me because he's already had a stroke because of untreated high bp and he seems to be headed for another stroke if he stops his meds.

Do you have any advice to help convince my dad to see the doctor?

Thanks for your help - and for listening....



Perhaps if you mentioned to your dad that high blood pressure is called the "silent killer" for a reason...he would agree to get checked out for renewal of meds?

There are usually no symptoms of high blood pressure. How about buying an inexpensive home blood pressure cuff and taking a reading now and then? Remind him that 120/80 is a good number and see what his number is?

Good luck, hang in there!


sometimes their wants get in the way of what is necessary.
and to take pro active hands on measure with dad in making sure that he is evaluated by his doctor. tell him that you want him evaluated and that you will go with him but you want him to be seen by the doctor.

begin to get Firm with dad and not allow his wants to get in the way of what you know that he needs. Tough Love is in order here for dad

while you are there you can start getting active in his health issues so that you will be aware of what your fathers health issues are.

my father did the exact same thing as your father with my father he ended up in chf you need to tell dad that you are going to take him to see his doctor and that you have made an appointment on his behalf to see the doctor. be firm and push through to get this done for your dad...............god bless................

If your dad refuses to see a doctor and is mentally competent then that is his right. If you feel he is incompetent and harmful to himself you could try to get a court ruling. But even then you would have to physically restrain him to get him to see a doctor.

First thing I would do is get a good blood pressure monitor for him. Have him take his blood pressure and record it regularly. If he gets involved this way he may want to get the refill in meds.

Remember often people don't want to know what is wrong with them as they get older. They are afraid of the doctor finding something serious. So if you focus on just the blood pressure you might get him to agree.

Good Luck

Has he always been this way or just as he has gotten older? I know you love him and want what is best for him but it's his life and his choice. Maybe just spend more time with him on his terms and enjoy him while you still have him rather than having your time together be contentious.

Assuming your dad is mentally competent, and you suggest he is, your dad has a constitutional right to refuse medical treatment. You might not like it, but your dad has the right to make decisions for himself

Maybe just spend more time with him on his terms and enjoy him while you still have him rather than having your time together be contentious

. . . .someone wrote that in their post -

That's the idea i've been working on this year with my mother. This is year 3 of her being a widow and her depression and declining physical health have caused her to do the same thing: find a million excuses for not attending to her health. She continues to "fight me" on nearly every angle and every pc of advice i've offered. So the abv. theory has been one i've adopted this year - i tend to avoid most topics that i know will cause tension (which narrows the list pretty tight with her) so as to be able to have an up-lifting time with her.
I don't know how long this tactic will be viable - i realize her health will continue to fade and more serious issues will eventually surface - but she seems to create a situation that ties my hands.
. . . . for what it's worth . . . debois25
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