Well, first off, I am not a talker or a good writer. I am 59 yrs. old, collecting the last couple wks. of my meager unemployment checks (with no hope of more income in sight). Since April, 2009 I have been sharing an apartment, in a senior apartment building, with my 86 yr. old mother. The last time I was on a payroll was in 2007 at a fast food restaurant. My step dad was very ill at the time, so I received several calls a day at work because they needed help. I finally had to quit my job to care for them. My step dad died a month after I quit work and I promised him I would take care of my mother.(there is no one else to do it and I won't put her in a nursing home) My financial situation would not allow me to pay rent where I was living, so my mother and I decided we should share the apartment. So.. we (my fiance and I) moved her out of her one bedroom apt. and into a two bedroom apt. right across the hall. My fiance is not allowed to live with us because the rules of the apartment owners will not allow anyone under 55 yrs. old to live there( He is 52 yrs. old)If we were married, then they would allow him to live there. My fiance and I have been together for 6 yrs. and would prefer to get married on our terms, not theirs, so I have been sneaking him in and out since April.(very stressful) He is also having a great deal of trouble getting work. He works sporadically in construction. My mother is a nearly impossible person to live with.She has no friends and refuses to attempt to make any and my children(her grandchildren) avoid her as much as possible. At one moment she will be irritatingly childlike and most other times she is manipulative, nosy and meddling beyond reason, insulting, degrading and constant nagging about things that are none of her business. So far, she can still physically care for herself. I expect the time will come soon when I will be required to feed and bathe her,etc. just as I did for my step dad. She has to know where I am and what I am doing constantly. She has called my friends, stores, police. If I occasionally manage to escape with my fiance to have a beer and unwind, she will call my cell phone to insist that I should be home and to say that God would not want me to have a beer.We are not alcoholics or drug addicts. If I don't answer, she will call the bartender. I don't know what to do anymore. I have fallen into a hellish rut. My fiance and I have broken up several times since April, because of this situation. He wants to move back to Colorado, but I have a responsibility to my mother. She and my father gave me life, now she is just sucking out whatever life I have left.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...