My husband of 59 years is terminal with cancer. He has just recently reached the personality change phase. The hospice nurse said 75% of patients go through this and I am asking myself how on this earth am I going to live through it. One min. he is the sweetest person on earth and the next he a very ornery, combative, argumenative, old man. I keep telling myself that is not him acting like that, I really feel he has already left me and there is a stranger in my house. I am 79 years old and I am determined to take care of my own health, mental and physical, but it is really hard. Night befor last I went to the emergency room, had been vomiting for two hours, Dr. said stress could have very well caused it because I have weak stomach , history of ulcers and hernia. I pray every night that the next day he will be himself and not the stranger.
So far I have tried to cope by just keeping my mouth shut, agreeing with everything he says(this sometimes irritates him and he gets worse but will at least change the subject). Some times it helps to just leave the room saying there is something that has to be done, like make a phone call to change an appointment, have to call someone before they leave for work or some excuse like that. Then after I am gone for 10-20 min, he is calmed down when I come back into the room.
I ordered a baby moniter today so I can set it beside his chair, then I can spend more time in another part of the house.
He plays the TV so loud it drives me crazy and I have thought more than once after he is gone I am throwing all 32 inches of that thing out the door!!
Thanks for letting me vent,Hazel