I love my mom so much, but there is just so much to deal with. She is always always always ALWAYS hurting. She is only 39 and her back has intense pain due to a missing nerve cushion thingy Im not too educated on that. She has pseriasis (can't spell) and arthiritis REAlly bad in all of her joints, it seems. She sleeps the majority of the day and when she's awake, its hard to talk to her. Half the time because when you try to talk to her, she dozes off (mid conversation!) and the other half, she's just in too bad of a mood to talk to. She is biplar, as well as i am, and it is almost impossible to find her in a good enough mood. She can't really do too much, even when I was younger, she wasn't too active. I feel neglected sometimes, but I know its something she can not help. She has to deal with schools not treating my brother, who has Asperger's syndrome, fairly. She can't really walk so much, unless she is on a good day, then we can go shopping. But she will buy out the store!!! It's fun and all, but I mean bipolar-shopping. I do it too, but when I see her doing it, and I know she is doing it, I don't stop her. Then when we get home I feel guilty for not stopping her, and she feels bad, and we have to return a good 95% of what we got (i buy really useless stuff.). My dad being in the military used to leave for months on end. that would leave my sister (who is emotionally unstabled and usually stays in her room ALL DAY LONG) and me to do all the housework which stresses me out. Now I'm not saying my mom is useless, she is far from. Sometimes she will cook and clean. But when she is having a bad day, she sleeps. I am so confused I wish I could do someting. She is on every pill one could possibly take and I don't want it to be this way. I wish she were healthy and she could enjoy life. I feel so helpless. Now my dad doesn't leave for months on end anymore, in fact he is retiring as a major this summer, which is really bad. I mean, yay- he was in the army for 22 years-, but oh no- we wont have free insurance anymore and we will get less money. I'm scared we won't be able to afford doctor visits and stuff anymore, like we used to. I'm just really stressed and scared.
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