As my Dad would say she is prob not playing with a full deck.. Even though it may seem cruel sometime we need to step back from the situation that is hurting us.. Maybe turning her care and finances over to a middle man so you will not have to be involved as much.. I wish you the best Love D

i dont know how old your mom is but do you have power of attorney for her to handle her affairs?? why not put her money into the bank and see if that would make a difference. i agree with diane, not thinking clearly at this point.

I do not have power of attorney at this time.
When my dad passed away in March of last year, thats when everything awful with her financial well being started happeneing. Her home got foreclosed on as a result of her not paying her bills, etc etc. She moved in with me for a spell in August, which didn't work out at all. She was way too bossy, let alone she brought all five of her dirty animals with her. I am an animal lover, but she let them go on the floor for years, and I don't allow that kind of behavior in my house. She has an apartment about two blocks away from me. When she gets her SS and her pension each month, I go with her to pay necessary bills, rent, consumers energy, cable, etc. With what is left over,it goes to her,with the exception of the hundred and fifty I hold on to until the 15th. Here it is, only the 6th and she is down to her last 150??

people do say very cruel things when they are in pain of any sort and she obviously is. She has had two huge losses these last years and must be off her head with all this quite honestly, she is taking her anger out at what life has dealt her with, with you, particularly as with the money situation you may seem to have authority over her (money is soooo hard), I agree with the others, to have the money taken care of by someone else would be good. You need help, and so does she, can you not get any hel at all? The less involved with her actual affairs, the less unkind she probably will be to you - and I really do speak from experience her....hugs and love to you....Cathrynn X

Mine does the same thing to me at times....I guess she is not happy with her life....still hard to take being put down, when I try so hard.

well, I agree with the others -- it's probably a mixture of pain and taking her frustrations out on you b/c she knows you'll stick by her no matter how she acts.
I read the book "Boundaries" and it really help me set some boundaries with those we care for, as in, I will put up with _________, but I will not put up with ______________. for me, it's grouchyness but not lying. And you can tell mean old mom that "I'm setting a boundary with you. I can't accept you saying ___________ or doing _____________ and then give her a consequence just like our kids = )
sorry for what you are going thru. I hope this helps somehow.

Wow, this is an awful and I really feel for you!! If you had power of attorney, your mother would most likely fight your every decision anyway.

Is this an online casino? If she actually physically attends casinos, then why does she need a caretaker? Unless she is has mental problems which sounds like is a strong possibility. No one in their right mind would permit animals to go in their home. Now she is in YOUR home and that is even worse.

Bottomline, I would not put up with the cruelty and insults she is leveling at you. She does this to maintain control over you and her own wishes and she has obviously gotten away with this behavior for a long enough time (years?) for her to know that it works for her so she continues this behavior.

If I were you, I'd get professional advice. I've had to do this myself because this kind of manipulation just tears at you and friends don't want any part of it, and as in my case, other family members say, "It's not my problem" and wash their hands of the situation because they don't want to deal with it even though it is equally their responsibility.

Do you get any help from your sisters?

And lastly, about her saying that about rather losing a daughter, your mother sounds as if she is mentally ill. No rational person would EVER say such a thing. My (very) ex-husband's mother was schizophrenic and she said things very similar to that all the time and I had little to do with her after fully realizing how sick and cruel and manipulative she was and also very unwilling to get any help for her mental illness. She would rather abuse others than to get help. That was unacceptable to me. My marriage lasted less than a year because he was also cruel and stuck up for her horrible behavior.

My point is that good people cannot tolerate this kind of treatment without ramifications on their own mental state and health. You are in an unbearable situation. You need help. The folks on here are great and may give you the strength you need to do make things better for yourself because you deserve much better than this.

Best,

Cheryl

I tried to go back and edit my mistyping but I could not so please forgive my mistakes in the text. I guess I am having a stressful day myself!!

Cheryl