Well where do I begin. My dad died in 1999 and my husband and myself have basically been taking care of my mom since then. We have all been living together for about 4 years now and I have two kids 9 and 12 still at home plus a 25 year old with a 3 yr old daughter. My 25 year old has a defibillator since she was 15 so I was pretty much worn out when I started taking care of my mom. My mom has said so many things to me and my husband that were just so hurtful in the past 4 years that it is hard for me to get pass them. However I still take care of her because she is my mom. It is getting harder and harder for me. I anxiety attacks that send me to the ER and I am on medication for them now. Sometimes I feel like I just can't do it anymore. I have 5 other brothers and sisters but they don't help me out. They don't even come and pick her up for an hour or two. Whenever we leave the house to take the kids for an outing somewhere she gets on the phone and tells everyone that will listen that we have left her at home alone. If I don't get out and away sometimes I feel like I will just bust. She has said so many hurtful things to me that I have pretty much gotten use to it. It use to make me cry more than I does now. I don't know which is better crying or resentment. I hate to say it but sometimes I hate to see her come into the room. I would not put her in a facility because I don't think I could live with myself if something were to happen to her. But if she was not my mom I would not do this anymore. I just needed to vent some. I have so much built up inside of me if I ever let it out I don't know if I could stop crying.
Thanks for the time.
Thanks for the time.
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