I eat with her sometimes, mostly because I am setting an example for my daughter. At times I do not want to but actually enjoy it when it is the three of us. For example, when I took her to lunch last week she couldn't think of anything to talk about. She just sat there and ate her sandwich. When I asked her about it, "Why don't you talk to me when we are out or in general" She said "I don't know" and shugged her shoulders. I said to her "Do you realize that I could do something else with my time?, Are you upset with me?" She said NO but was not looking at me when she responded. Why she is upset is another topic.

So, to answer your question: yes I do out of honor and respect and setting an example but I would rather at time be alone. When I want to eat alone, I do.

The three of us actually eat in the living room. Mom used to eat in the kitchen at the island counter, but it got harder for her to get on and off the stool she used, so we had her switch to the couch. When we moved in here, we just continued that. Mom doesnt talk much, and pretty much not at all when she is eating, so we always have the tv on. That is what works for us.

We also eat in the living room. My granny's talbe and chairs are old and I am afraid for her to sit in them. She does a lot better in her chair in the living room.
Sometimes I eat with her but others I fix her something. She gets really upset with me about that.
She eats by the clock and I eat when I am hungry. I normally always eat diner with her but no conversation. It is like Bloveb said out of respect and honor.

We also eat in the living room. My granny's talbe and chairs are old and I am afraid for her to sit in them. She does a lot better in her chair in the living room.
Sometimes I eat with her but others I fix her something. She gets really upset with me about that.
She eats by the clock and I eat when I am hungry. I normally always eat diner with her but no conversation. It is like Bloveb said out of respect and honor.

Good idea to have the TV on. I enjoy old movies, she does too. So that could be a good buffer. She used to have good table manners. I don't know what has happened, it is like she's another person. She sent me to Charm School so she has etiquette too. She talks while she tries to chew her food. She takes big bites too. The TV will help me not magnify watching her eat! Maybe I need a dog!! I'm seriously thinking of that.

For the most part, Mom and I get along fine. Thats because I realize that she is coping the best she can. (Condescending, huh? ;o) Talk about role reversal! Anyway, I think a lot of the current friction between us is really about unresolved issues. For example: My father, may he rest in peace, was indeed and unrepentant drunk, probably even a womanizer, and a few other things, but he was my father. When we (7 of us) were children, all she did was complain about him, things that we were powerless to do anything about. Plus, when he was good, I enjoyed it, except when I was feeling guilty for liking him. Hes been dead now for over 30 years and I have moved on; I thought Mom had, too. Now, in her very old age, hes back! When she expects me to complain about him, it really pushes my button! It drives me nuts! I allow it for a while, then I tell her that I really do not like complaining about dead people. Now, this is not about my father. It is about unresolved issues that cause friction, power struggles, bad feelings, etc Looking back, my father was what she complained and at least a few things more. She virtually raised us by herself. Now, her dementia and depression will not let the issue rest in peace; so, I must find some other way to cope.
Anyway, to answer your question: Though we do not exactly EAT together (Im trying to lose weight.), we are usually in the same room and chat. Its the one time that we can talk about something other than my dad and her condition. :o)

We try to eat together (with those we care for) as often as we can. They don't live with us but we bring them over about once a week. Problem for us is that it gets more impractical as time goes by. I have to cook differently than I would for just my immediate family and the "guests" don't like ANY of the healthy things I make. If I even so much a put a dab of sauce on the green beans, FIL won't eat them. And he likes to eat about 2 hrs before we do (and we eat early!) so I have to get my act together at 2 pm if I want to have him over.
SIL is so food-obsessive that she brings her own dinner with her even if I'm having the exact same dinner LOL. Goofy.

Overall if we lived with them, I'd say we'd eat together if it was peaceful and felt good, but if there were bad feelings and it made a knot in my stomach while trying to eat, I'd eat separately.

We eat separately for breakfast and lunch. I make and bring to them in the living room where they eat at their chair. Ditto lunch. I give my parents a tray with that sticky stuff that occupational therapists use so things don't slide. Dinner we 99 % eat together at the table. I just think it is important for families to eat together. I would feel bad excluding them. However, our meals are sometimes really horrific. Grandma takes out her teeth and then chokes and gags- sometimes throws up! Grandpa chokes and coughs so bad it is like he is losing a lung! We have gotten used to a lot but even sometimes the kids just disappear (weak stomaches).

Mom2three and everyone else. Thanks, my mom sent me to charm school, twice! So I know my manners! Now mom who used to be so particular, puts a big bite in her mouth, chews and talks with food in her mouth. Guess she is so desperate to talk to someone she must get every word out. I'm finding it more and more difficult to plan meals. I am on the go, I like being on the go. Maybe I need to buy another freezer so I can prepare more microwave meals in tupperware. I don't know, I'm tired of it all right now. I missed my counselor appt. last night & her sign says, of course only fair, I owe her the full amount $80.00. So I know I won't miss another appointment again. My outside job is so stressful, I need more alone time than I thought I did. I'm really, really putting myself first.

my whole family eats together with my mom. We talk, and we laugh. I believe in being together and also that is the way I was bought up and so my kids 20 and 23 I taught them. I also had to teach my husband because he family never did.

I agree maybe if mom and I eat together with some nice soft music on it will get better. I bought some homemade soups so we'll have that today.

Mom and I are always together during meal times, hers and mine, but we don't always eat together. My hours up far outweigh her hours up, so often, for instance, I've already eaten breakfast, or lunch, when she gets around to it. Dinner, though, we always eat together.
The table and chairs issue, though, is one with which we also deal...not only uncomfortable for my mother but treacherous, since the height of both the table and the chairs (which are standard dining table/chair height) are too high for her...thus, she usually eats sitting in her rocking chair in the living room with one of those small wooden tables in front of her (except for breakfast, which she insists on having at the dining table), and I sit on the floor and eat at a very low table I've fashioned. We do indulge in a lot of dinner conversation...sometimes watch favorite programs or movies during dinner.
I'm relieved to see that we are not the only ones with dining table issues. After much research, since my mother loves using a dining table, I've just about decided to hire a carpenter to make a table and chairs to comfortable dimensions for her with an adapted seat for me. Even "therapeutic" tables and chairs are not low enough nor comfortable enough for her.
My guess is that, as baby boomers age, of which I am one, the furniture industry will adapt...too late, though, for my mother, I'm afraid.

That sounds like a nice idea to have the table at your mom's height. I think the bathroom sinks are way too low, I'd like the sink higher. I liked what you said about us baby boomers, we could turn the furniture business around! Have you seen the t.v. trays that are metal and they adjust to wherever you are sitting?

I think you have to take it one day at a time. If you feel you can deal with her issues that day, then eat with her. If you feel that you will just be ready to scream, then don't eat with her.

I like that, take it one day at a time, see how you feel and I appreciate your comment!