
Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...

deleted_user
Let me reiterate my anger, and possibly why it has not subsided.
Most of you remember the impersonalized letter I got, which in my own personal view, denounced that my volunteer work or attempt at helping out was pretty much futile.
My dad doesn't think the letter really "means" that much, and that he probably had a helper who was rushing him... whatever the case, it made me angry.
Again, I am asked to "help" out, when I have already collected 3 donated items, prepared about 15 centerpieces--at my own expense.
Now I am asked to call two companies to see if they want to sponsor, and I really don't want to do it. I don't feel comfortable, and I really feel like I have given more than enough of my time and money.
What I WANT to do, is say "no" and not feel utterly guilty about it. I want to say "no" and not feel like nobody else in the entire world can do this.
I have been fairly good about "managing" my anger, however, it seems more and more I feel like a rabid dog about to break loose and bite somebody...
Don't get me wrong, I like this man, he is nice and taught me a lot, and I DO enjoying caring for me, but I feel I cannot say "no" when I really need to....
:/
Most of you remember the impersonalized letter I got, which in my own personal view, denounced that my volunteer work or attempt at helping out was pretty much futile.
My dad doesn't think the letter really "means" that much, and that he probably had a helper who was rushing him... whatever the case, it made me angry.
Again, I am asked to "help" out, when I have already collected 3 donated items, prepared about 15 centerpieces--at my own expense.
Now I am asked to call two companies to see if they want to sponsor, and I really don't want to do it. I don't feel comfortable, and I really feel like I have given more than enough of my time and money.
What I WANT to do, is say "no" and not feel utterly guilty about it. I want to say "no" and not feel like nobody else in the entire world can do this.
I have been fairly good about "managing" my anger, however, it seems more and more I feel like a rabid dog about to break loose and bite somebody...
Don't get me wrong, I like this man, he is nice and taught me a lot, and I DO enjoying caring for me, but I feel I cannot say "no" when I really need to....
:/
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It has stuck with me for years because it was a problem I had.
She went on to say that it gets easier every time you say it. She's right, it does!
And I learned that we don't have to give an excuse when we say no. we can just say in an upbeat way, I'm sorry, I can't take that on. Maybe you could ask so and so. and change the subject.
sometimes if I want to explain (such as if you really like this person) I might say "I would love to but I've taken on too much already and know I'm not doing anything on my plate as well as I should or would like to, sorry."
hugs. I know what' you're going thru. it's hard to say NO but we just have to.
I certainly feel that your anger is legitimate, by the way.
guilt is such a horrid emotion. :/