Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...
Hello,
I joined last year but I hardly ever post, but I am really struggling right now.
I am really losing my patients with my husband. He was diagnosed with M.S. about four years ago. He had an episode that left him unable to work for about six months, and that was about a year ago. So, for about a year he has been working out of town during the week and coming home on Friday and leaving Sunday.
I have been working full time, going to school full time and taking care of our five year old daughter. I was recently let go from my job, because the business is closing. So, it has been a little crazy, around the house and I have not been keeping it as clean as I usually do. He has not been feeling well and has been more and more snappy with me, and today, said I should be taking care of things, better than I am since I have all day now to take care of things.
I pray everyday for understanding, when we cant go do activities because he is not up to it, and when he comes home and complains about having a cold, or a back ache, and other things that dont have anything to do with his M.S. Then he getss up after two days of resting and goes happily back to work. I try to except the fact that I dont know how I would handle M.S. and try not to judge, but at a certain point I start to feel like I can not contain, my dark side, which is resentful, unhappy, and fearful of what my life is turning into, and will be.
I just feel like saying sometimes, you should really try to be nicer to me because a, I am the one who will be taking care of you later in our life, and I am beginning to feel like you are more trouble than you are worth.
I know that is terrible to think, and I am pretty sure I would not say that to him. I guess I feel like what about me and what I am going through. M.S. is affecting me too. When I married him I made a commitment to him and I am trying to keep it and keep my family intact, but it is getting harder and harder, and I am scared I am not a strong enough or compassionate enough of a person to do it FOREVER!!!
Any advice anyone has would be wonderful!!!
I joined last year but I hardly ever post, but I am really struggling right now.
I am really losing my patients with my husband. He was diagnosed with M.S. about four years ago. He had an episode that left him unable to work for about six months, and that was about a year ago. So, for about a year he has been working out of town during the week and coming home on Friday and leaving Sunday.
I have been working full time, going to school full time and taking care of our five year old daughter. I was recently let go from my job, because the business is closing. So, it has been a little crazy, around the house and I have not been keeping it as clean as I usually do. He has not been feeling well and has been more and more snappy with me, and today, said I should be taking care of things, better than I am since I have all day now to take care of things.
I pray everyday for understanding, when we cant go do activities because he is not up to it, and when he comes home and complains about having a cold, or a back ache, and other things that dont have anything to do with his M.S. Then he getss up after two days of resting and goes happily back to work. I try to except the fact that I dont know how I would handle M.S. and try not to judge, but at a certain point I start to feel like I can not contain, my dark side, which is resentful, unhappy, and fearful of what my life is turning into, and will be.
I just feel like saying sometimes, you should really try to be nicer to me because a, I am the one who will be taking care of you later in our life, and I am beginning to feel like you are more trouble than you are worth.
I know that is terrible to think, and I am pretty sure I would not say that to him. I guess I feel like what about me and what I am going through. M.S. is affecting me too. When I married him I made a commitment to him and I am trying to keep it and keep my family intact, but it is getting harder and harder, and I am scared I am not a strong enough or compassionate enough of a person to do it FOREVER!!!
Any advice anyone has would be wonderful!!!
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
He must be feeling depressed, somewhere inside.
And you too, and not knowing what the future will bring. I think caring for a parent, as I have, is so much different than caring for a spouse. Do you think it's possible for the two of you to get into a local support group? Therapy? Can you talk to his doctor? Can he tell you what to generally expect?
You lost your job, stressful enough no? Do he two of you have any happy outlets? Do you ever get to go out together? Any way to solidify your relationship and nurture it? You don't want to become his "mother" in caring for him, ya know? You don''t want to lose that role of wife, lover, friend, and just be his nurse, mother.
I think there are quite a few wonderful ladies on here who care for their husbands, I'm sure they will have words of wisdom for you.
Good luck hon, take a deep breath, keep venting. xo