I can't put my finger on what it is I'm looking for. Since my uncle moved away and my brother and I are the only relatives left around my grandma she has asked us to do all the help, dividing jobs between us. Any interactions with my brother have been hostile on topics about her. But outside our relationship had been improving, he'd been inviting me to help with his kids, etc. I've felt overwhelmed and I've had to deal with Grandma a lot longer than my brother. Last week he stepped out and told my uncle and grandma he couldn't do it any more because he's got four kids to raise. I think he's under a lot of pressure, and I think this is an unusual demand made by his wife, to devote all his time to them and zero time to his grandma. I told him that I'm not going to help her as much either, as she has been piling stuff upon me. But then, also, he has cut me out, stopped calling, when there are things he'd usually call about. Also last weekend I mentioned to another relative on the other side of the family that he bowed out due to the four kids. She took his side and I didn't know what I wanted her to say or what I expected. She said that it's the job of grandma's children (who are absent) not grandchildren. That's all fine and good to say, but it's not likely to happen. So I told my grandma, I also wanted to bow out of helping SO much and cut it down to 3-4 hours a week. She threw a bunch of stuff in my face, ancient history, and it hurt my feelings. So I am wondering, I don't know how to deal with my brother, I don't know what to say, to him or his wife. I did like doing stuff with their kids, I miss that. I feel like I'm being punished, and not appreciated for the things I have done. I don't know what I'm looking for! But I haven't gotten it. Any suggestions?
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