
Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...

MineraPearl
I'd like to discuss how many hours you Caregive a day?
* Do you work outside the home also?
* Do you check in on your loved one during the day? If so how many times do you call them?
* If you work outside the home, how do you transition from that to your caregiving job? Do you just jump right in or do you allow yourself some down time, if so, how much? 15 minutes, half an hour?
* What about weekends, do you get to do your own thing? Do you take them with you?
* I'm asking because I have an outside job besides the caregiving job.
I want to have a good balance, if there is such a thing.
* Do you caregive full time?
* Do you prepare all the meals? What do you make?
Anything else? I'm open for any discussion around this topic. Thank you.
* Do you work outside the home also?
* Do you check in on your loved one during the day? If so how many times do you call them?
* If you work outside the home, how do you transition from that to your caregiving job? Do you just jump right in or do you allow yourself some down time, if so, how much? 15 minutes, half an hour?
* What about weekends, do you get to do your own thing? Do you take them with you?
* I'm asking because I have an outside job besides the caregiving job.
I want to have a good balance, if there is such a thing.
* Do you caregive full time?
* Do you prepare all the meals? What do you make?
Anything else? I'm open for any discussion around this topic. Thank you.
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But my mom, his ex-wife helps me out a lot.
As a matter of fact he is with her in Myrtle Beach.
They are very good friends. So I know that he is in good hands.
But I try and take my dad were I go normally. We try and live as normal as possible.
I also work a little from home ,so that helps.
The only way I will leave him home alone is if I put in a good movie for him.
Then I know I have an hour to run a few errands.
And I do cook the meals. (When my husband is off, he cooks)
That to me is the worst part. I HATE TO COOK. And my dad is so funny, he will not eat left overs.
When he first moved in I would ask him is favorite thing and then make a big pot of it. And he wouldnt eat it the next day. So much for convenient.
I used to cater to his ever food needs but now if he says, what else you got I reply with NOTHING.
A friend told me that trick. I wish Id found it out sooner. LOL
He says their anti- Reynold.
So its a full time thing. I dont look at it as a job anymore, I have learned to be so very grateful, because someday I wont have him.
Even though he makes me crazy, at least hes HERE.
And it may seem funny but it has also made me fall in love with my husband all over again. I see what a kind and good-hearted man he is.
In the 10 months my dad has lived with us (with his 2 dogs) My husband has not complained once. And any day he is off work he makes sure that Im ok and have time to get somethings done for myself. And will spend time with my dad doing guy stuff.
So this has all been a sad time it has also been a great blessing and I am a better person for it.
1. When I worked outside the home, for part of that time my mother was completely independent and involved in her own life, so I didn't "check" on her, but would call her occasionally to discuss plans, etc. As it became necessary for me to drop to part time, I called her more just to make sure she was up. Finally, when I discovered she was sleeping all the time when I was gone, I stopped working so that I could keep her stimulated and "going".
2. Never really worried about "transitioning" from work to home. It seemed to happen naturally.
3. My life, now, is Momandme so weekends are hersandmine. I run errands when she is sleeping, unless I can get her to go with me, which is rare, now, but not completely impossible, depending on the what I'll be doing.
4. I think a "good balance" depends on what you consider a good balance for you, MineraPearl.
5. Yes, I prepare all meals and snacks. What I serve depends on the day and her diet (she's a type 2 diabetic, although because she was diagnosed very late in life (82) and other conditions affect her blood glucose in a downward spiral, we have a lot more leeway than exists for most diabetics. So, one way or another, there is almost nothing we avoid except stuff she doesn't like (and stuff I don't like). We used to go out to eat a lot more than we do now. We stopped that primarily because it is very hard on both of us to get her into, through and out of the restaurant experience. However, it's not completely off our list, yet.
2)I call Mom at least every 2 hours and, more times than not, run home at lunch to check on her
3)There is no time to transition When I get up in the morning its all about getting Mom ready for the day and me ready for work. After work its full-time caregiving. My only down time is during the night when Im sleeping (but with a baby monitor next to my bed so I can hear her if she needs me).
4)My weekends, of course, include Mom. If I go anywhere she goes with me, and this has become more and more difficult.
5)I do all the grocery shopping and cooking (or take-out, depending on how tired I am). House cleaning, laundry, etc. are all on me.
6)If you figure out how to strike a good balance Id love to know the secret.
* I work outside the home and my husband did too until June of this year. My husband has taken a leave of absence to care for his dad.
* I check in with my husband throughout the day to let him vent and to see how things are going. My daughter is always on my mind and I deal with her when something comes up and I need to go get her or when she has doctor appointments. My husband handles his dad's appts.
* I try very hard on the way home to relax my mind to leave the stresses of my job and prepare for the stresses of the night/weekend. It's not easy!
* I try to give my husband a day off during the week when I can. I have a boss and job that is somewhat flexible to work from home sometimes. I have both of them on Saturdays and Sunday is my day off to go do what I want. My husband has Saturday off and one other day when I can work it out. I have to take my daughter everywhere I go. She can't be left alone at all. We can leave my fil for short periods, but we try not to make it more than 2 hours.
* I do have to say my outside job is a nice getaway from caregiving, but it certainly has its stresses too. I still dread whether I'm going to work or going home.
* I feel like I have 2 full time jobs!
* My husband takes care of breakfast for both and lunch for his dad. I take care of dinner every night. We can't go out to eat anymore with my fil and my fil always complains about take out, so we aren't doing that anymore either.
I work out of my home, running my small business, about 25-30 hours a week.
I take care of my 5yo son 24/7 except when he's in school, 3 hrs ea. weekday.
I don't really have a back up plan for care for my son. No reliable family within a 3 hr radius.
My husbands works out of state during the week. this is *naturally* when any problems come up. always. = )
I care part time for fil and d.sil, who live a couple of miles away. mostly it's just reminding/taking them to appts or shopping, mothering d.sil over the phone, reminding fil of things, getting his house prepped for cleaning. and doing some of fil's laundry.
my husband handles all of fil's meds/trays.
it's a battle to get work done at home, esp. when ds is home, and the phone is ringing and everyone is *entitled* to all of me.
I don't cook for fil or sil but I do all the shopping/cooking for my immed. family and try to do it all from scratch (not much frozen stouffer's here). that's a lot of work in and of itself.
If I didn't have boundaries, I would be in nervous breakdown mode for sure.
compared to some of you, that doesn't sound like much I know. it would be a lot easier if it weren't for this darn lupus. interesting how many of us here have some kind of auto immune disorder!
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