
Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...

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My mother is 84 years old and a stroke victim which has left her paralyzed on the right and limited/no speech ability. I'm having problems lately because she sees that I'm tired and tries to help but what she tries to do doesn't help me. Yesterday she was on the potty and trying to reach down and take off her shoes and fell head first into the bathtub. I was in the laundry room and she was yelling for me to come help her get up. This is the second time she has done this and when I try to explain to her that she can't reach her shoes she just looks at me and says "I know". Today she was at her tray in her wheelchair and then takes her dishes onto her lap and tries to move into the kitchen to place the dishes on the sink. One, she would never make the turn into the kitchen and two she spills all along the way. I know she must be so frustrated but it's been 8 years and she's not going to get any better. I hate when I get angry and I try to help her understand, but it's almost like she just doesn't care and continues to do it anyway. I hate that I think to myself I wish she would just pass on. I miss living with my husband who has a job in AZ while I have remained in CA to care for my mother as we felt moving her right now would disrupt her world. Help ... or am I just being selfish????
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I know how you feel I relocated for awhile to take care of my grandmother and it was a long six months. My hubby lived here in Fla. and I was in Ga.
I had some of the same feelings you are having and then felt so guilty for having them. I can not say for sure but feel it is one of the stages of emotions a caregiver goes through.
If there is anything I can do for you just let me know.
Love and Hugs........Shelba
take care....Cathrynn X
My husband of 59 years is terminal with cancer. He is just recently reached the personality change phase. The hospice nurse said 75% of patients go through this and I am asking myself how on this earth am I going to live through it. I keep telling myself that is not him acting like that, I really feel he has already left me and there is a stranger in my house. I am 79 years old and I am determined to take care of my own health, mental and physical. You have to do this to servive.
Love and hugs, Hazel