My husband is suffering through a clinical depression. It is just us, no children and we have been together for 17 years. Our life was wonderful in it's simplicity--best of friends, enjoying life. Not always perfect, but truly happy and a gift. Suddenly everything is completely different. Mark has become the opposite of the man he has been for 41 years. He was always caring, compassionate--putting family and marriage as his priority. He was a happy man who saw the good in life. He descended in to a place where he saw no value in anything, especially himself. Since being on Remeron he has improved...but still so far from himself. During these months, he openly stated that he felt nothing for anyone--me, his parents..all those he had held as the most important thing in his life. He considered whether we should even stay married--I feel like he took his love away from me. I have stood by his side, knowing that he is suffering from an illness. Standing strong to hold on to our marriage until we get to the other side of this...but I need help. I am so overwhelmed by the enormity of the hurt this has caused. We are so far apart, I am so afraid now that we can't overcome this. I will not let this illness take my marriage--but everyday I feel weaker and less able to hold on. I feel so beaten down, so confused. I don't understand the why of all of this...I feel like I am staring down an enemy that I can't figure out how to fight anymore. I am so emotionally tired, so scared, so hurt. I miss him so much. My heart literally hurts so badly I can't describe how I feel. I need strength to keep going through this..he is the love of my life, my best friend..
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