I have the same thing with my family. They never come to see Mike or offer any kind of support and he is so lonely. I have begged and begged for years. But this year I stopped. It's not easy but you have to just push it out of your head and get on with what you have to do. I try to just have peace with the fact that I am doing what I think is right. Someday they will be the ones needing help and I don't know who is going to be there for them (if anyone). It is going to be a sad lonely day when they realize that they have no help and that maybe they shouldn't have been so selfish in their life time.

If the peace thing doesn't work for ya..... go over there in the night with a baseball bat and bash them in the head! :)

Or... tie them up on a hill of fire ants? :)

I totally understand your anger and mine has come out to my family on several occasions. I try to realize that everyone deals with things in a different way and they themselves have issues that they have a hard time dealing with. This may come out as heartless sometimes, when in actuality they can't accept or deal with the situation. My older daughter does very little to help with her sister. It breaks my heart, but I try to realize she is young and trying to establish her own life. One day when we talked about when I die since she's the only sibling Steph is her responsibility, she broke down and told me how scared she was and didn't know how in the world to help her, but she stepped up and said she would do the best she could for her as I have done. I think at this point avoidance works for her. I try to overlook it.

i understand so much what you are going through my sister and brother only comes around when they need money, and dad hands it to them, then i give him the money back. but over all im with jackies,,,she has fire ants, i got a big jar of honey, ohhhh and dont forget about toilet papering their house, and eggs we need eggs,,,,,ohhhhh and how about if we call all the pizza places in town and tell them your his wife and order all of them to deliver at their home at the same time. ohhhhhhh and how about if we have a big dump truck dump manure on their from lawn, and then of course he would insist on payment,,,,
but i havent been thinking of this stuff very long, hehehe

That anger will hurt YOU, not them.
It took me many long years to realize my mother, brothers and sister did not have the compassion, family love or feelings that I had. My sister once told me that I was wasting a lot of energy trying to make a family out of five children when only ONE, me, wanted and needed that. The only thing important to any of them was money and they only needed me when they needed a place to stay, spend holidays, money , work or favers done. I used to be mad at myself for letting them take advantage of me but I got over that after my hubby pointed out (several times) that I was much the better person for having tried. We did more for my mother than all the rest of them put together but at her funeral I was left setting in the back row alone and at the gravesite the chairs were all filled with them, thier spouses and shildren and i was left standing alone with strangers. This showed their true colors and I have had no feelings, good or bad, for any of them sense that time in 1976.
It will be a great relieve when you finnaly let go of the anger and learn to accept them for the selfish, self-centered people that they are. I hope that itme comes soon for you, the anger is not good for you.

Diane, I understand. My sister Angie who lives 2 streets over has not called me since before my son got ill. But I call her. It is her loss. When our sister Julie was sick, she would come and visit her once in a while but she missed out on a wonderful journey - the end result being that when Julie was in the hospital with her husband and 4 kids - it was me her daughter called at midnight to tell me Julie was breathing differently. I called Angie and told her I was going to the hospital and asked her if she wanted to come - Angie told me to let her knowo how Julie was doing. By the time I got there, I only had time to say my good-bye to Julie and to be with the kids (and their spouses). When Julie died (about 20 minutes after I got to the hospital), I was only then able to catch my breath and call Angie - it again was her loss. How do you deal with people like that? You don't. You just accept them as they are and let the rest go. It truly is their loss. I know it made me angry but I too finally figured out that anger was not good for ME and that if I held on to resentment, it would be ME I would be hurting. So no need for me to get upset at my sister because she does not call me to see how my son is doing - again it is her loss... So sorry Diane - I do wish the world were perfect.

my oldest son david was put on dialysis 1 yr ago.he had a stroke 2 yrs ago that left his left arm & hand with limited use.his brother & sister (my kids )never call him or even ask about him when they call me.i always am the one to say how david is doing.i get so mad at them both,it hurts they are so cold hearted to their brother.they both live out of state along with their father.he is just as bad as them.he never calls to check on his son,not even to wish him a happy birthday.
they act like he is dead.
how can they be so heartless ?
david is a type 1 diabetic since age 4,total of 44 yrs.
it's caused blindness in his left eye & a left leg amputation.
with all he has to deal with on a daily basis why can't they spend just a few mins a week to call him & ask "how was your week "?such a small request with such a big benfit.
as least he has me & his loving stepfather.

words fail me at all these posts - I have often felt so sad that I have no brothers and sisters and I think when you have their full support that couldnt be more amazing, but so often I realise that this support and love simply isnt there. An uncle of mine fell out with his brother over a such trivial thing, causing him a small stroke, from which time he descended into ten years of Alzheimers disease - all those years the brother never reconnected - he sent a small note when he was dying but he was too enveloped in Alzheimers to know what had happened then - they had been close all those years before, how can people BE like that, I really dont know....

I dont know how you deal with the anger with this, Diane, I am so so sorry this is what is happening here when your mother and father would so love to see them...I'm with the others with the ants, stringing up and goodness knows what else........love to you...C X