MyDarling: I would have to agree with your sister!! The 'friend' who is screaming at you sounds as if she may be mentally ill!! If I were in your situation I would probably cut ties with the screamer, and cherish my remaining circle of friends who understand what I am going through...Just my opinion, though.

We have lost a couple of folks... mostly, I think, through their own fear and uncertainty about hubby's situation.

I'd feel bad for this person who was your "best friend" if she was having a bad day, say. But it sounds like she's not very happy, and that she's changed drastically for some reason. Whatever has done this, it doesn't give her the right to go on treating you like that deliberately.

If you have mutual friends, can you find out if she's doing this with them? Perhaps something is happening to her that is cause for concern.

If you know this is not the case, and it is her reaction to your own situation... maybe just say thanks and good bye, and let it be. Some folks don't have it in them to be there for you, for whatever reason, and we can't change each other. Best to forgive and go on, in my opinion.

I have gained so many great friends here that I don't miss the ones that don't come around anymore. ;-)

It also could be that your "best" friend, may feel that you are radiating your stress and issues on her, and maybe she misses just hanging out with you and doing fun things together?

Also, if you are frequently going to her for problems, maybe she is feeling overwhelmed...?

Hi, I think a friend that yells is really not someone I would care to hang around with.. Although I will give her the benefit of the doubt and say she may be stressed for you and does not know what do do or say..You sound like a tender heart to me.. enjoy the time you have with your husband .. Love D

I agree with the posts that your friend does not know how to except the fact that you have a responsibitl to your husband. She is jeolius for your attention also.

none of my friends come around, i do hear from a few here and there, and im afraid i have lost a few (they passed on). as far as yelling at you, she sounds more like a jelous mate then a friend, but there are many kinds of friends out there. let your friend know that you have made your decision about your husband and if she was a friend she would support your decision (right or wrong). and if she cant be supportive and understanding of your situation then you have to do what is best for you... many hugs Tarri

Friends stick by you and support you in the decision you make. No one can even imagine the situation your in till they are in it themselves.

Tell the screamer contact you every 5th tuesday and you'll can talk then. Now is the time you need friends to support you and not give you added fustrations. God Bless you!

When we become caregivers, people see us differently. Why do we choose to sacrifice our lives, live as a recluse in isolation, must be something wrong with us? And they don't call or come over anymore. It also reminds them of when they put their parent in a home, alone. Or of the fact they to are getting older, what is ahead. All making them uncomfortable...easier to stay away cause they just don't get it.

there is something wrong with your friend. Suggest she go to a doctor or do something. She's in pain. I bet she let her batteries run way down. best wishes!

Many thanks to everyone who has replied to me. I have a whole new outlook on this. I have decided to have lunch with my friend and try to get HER to tell me how SHE really feels about this. If she is scared or hurting because of what we are going through, that would at least explain why she is acting this way. If she is just being selfish, then I will just leave her alone until my husband dies and hope and pray she never needs anyone to take care of her full time. Thanks again for your insights.

Before My Son Had All These Health Conditions,I Had 2 Good Friends.We Went To Craft Fairs,Yard Sales & Even Lunch Out Once A Month.
My Time Isn't My Own Anymore &
After Having To Pass On Several Outtings With Them,I Heard From Them Less & Less.
I Belive No One Wants To Be Reminded This Could Be Their Life Also.
Hugs,Sharon91

Your lifetime and true friends are pure gift. Do not be to hasty in judging the paths they are now walking. There is a miss communication gap between you and your friend. You are currently on different roads. I know to well the pain of not having your good friend support you but I also know the reason and you owe it to yourself to know. We are only gifted with very few "best" friends on our journey through this life. Do not dismiss her so easily until you know all the facts. She may well be having a harder time of it then you. Give it some time. You will know in time. I know you are devastated and hurt upon hurt. Learn to be your "own" best friend and trust in your God. Human kindness is only half the battle! It will come together. I like this saying:

I sought my God, but could not see
I sought myself, but it eluded me
I sought my friend, and found all three!

When your frind is absent it is devastating! But you can still search for your God and yourself. And perhaps that is where you need to be. Life teaches us some hard lessons! That is where I am now. Absolutely alone. Me and God. Its time.

Do not depend on friends in your trials. Your strength comes from within you! If your friend supports you consider it a gift but do not expect it. The loved one you care for is formost in your heart. Forever in your heart! No power on earth will change that! If she is meant to be your "best" friend she will have to come to grips with that. If not you have to consider it another loss in your life. You will know! You may keep a lesser frindship in future. You will not forget.

My lifetime "best" friend is dying of COPD. She is on so many drugs I hardly know her any more! Never forget a friend is a gift and I think our job here on earth is to love them the best we can even when they let us down. I hope you and your friend make it through your lifetime.