I recently saw my family doctor who "again" told me that my blood pressure is partly due to the stress of caring full-time for my mother and that I need to place her and be on with my llife. My husband is currently working out of state and I made the decisions to stay here so that mother wouldn't have to change doctors. She is a stroke victim of nearly nine years and I have always been involved in her care, but full-time since May 2005. Mother is in a wheelchair and has no speech ability since the stroke. With each passing day I find myself resentful that I do this alone. I have two brothers who are not actively involved and so the demands fall to me and my family. I have taken mother to a small resident home here for respite care (up to 10 days at one time) and she makes me "pay" when she comes home because I left her. I honestly told her about the discussion with the doctor and that the recommendation was to place her. Mother cries and just says "I don't know". Why do they make it so hard? I know it's not how she had planned on living out her life (do we ever??), but she has lived a good life up until the stroke ... had money, traveled (Europe several times), took vacations, etc... I feel like she has lived more in her lifetime then I will because as long as she lives I can't live my life. How do I overcome the guilt and give my family what they deserve? I sometimes feel like mother is draining all I have and so my family gets nothing cause I don't have anything left to give. Any help???
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