Thanks for the input. It's hard to believe that there are others out there going through what my brothers and sister are going through. There is a deeper issue with my mom, more than I have room to discuss. I know that my mother has been the way she is for as long as I can remember. WE have actually watched her feign illness to get attention from my father. He put up with a lot from my mother, but he stayed. You know people, always said I stayed for the kids, well that's what my father did. You can't have a candid conversation with her, because it always comes back to her. To be honest, we take care of my Mom because before my father passed, after a year long illness, he asked my middle brother to take care of her. Being as close as we are, even when we were children, we always stuck together, so we couldn't just leave it to him alone. Also that's the way we were raised,. to look out for each other. She did teach us that. My mother has never been a mother you could talk to about anything. It was "do as I say , not as I do type of growing up. You did what she said and that was that, no funny looks, no back talk, nothing. We all take turns staying with her. I think that's where we made our mistake. After our father passed away, she fell and broke her foot. We were away in Texas for a relative's funeral. We kept in touch with her. When we returned she said she fell and her foot was sore. Well lo and behold we took her to the doctor and her foot was broken. She had a month recuperation in the hospital and when she was released she had to use a wheelchair and the doctor didn't want her to stand on her foot, so we all took turns staying with her until she healed and the staying with her at night just took hold and that's where we are today even though she can do forherslef pretty well, even with a walker. She can fix her meals, which we let her do unless she is having a rough day and we don't mind at all. She can still take her own bath and she can make her bed. She has a housekeeper 3 X a week for laundry and general housecleaning. She will sit in a chair and clean her refrigerator. We do her grocery shopping. We don't mind doing these things, but it seems the more we do for her, the more she wants to be in control. I know I am going on and on about this, but it helps to talk about it to someone besides my siblings. Let me tell you about 1 of the stunts she pulled. I live 75 miles from mom, as does 1 of my brothers, so we alternate weekends, and my sister and middle brother takes the weekdays, Mon-Thurs. It seems as though when we get confortable, she calls for something, which is fine, but it's almost as though she doesn't want us to be idle, it was like that when we were growing up, had to always be doing something. Well 1 day she had 1 of her cousin's visiting, sitting in her room with her, and my sitting in the den. Her cousin had been there for almost2 hours and I guess I dozed off and she called me. When I went in her room she asked me to close her curtain because the sun was coming in. Her cousin told her she could have closed the curtain since she was sitting right there. That's that manipulation and control issue. That's just a sample of some of the things she does. There's worse things. What is that all about.
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