You took the first step - by reaching out to a caring community - we don't always have all the answers but we try to support one another. I cant speak for others but for me, writing in my journal has helped my sanity (I think :o) - Also trying to help others also helps me. I find that going for a walk helps, also reading some light material (preferably funny). Our loved ones need help, but we have to make sure we keep ourselves healthy. Not just physically, but - for me - mentally (not that I accomplish that all the time). Feeling depressed, for me, can happen - but I also know it will pass. And trying to get my mind off my problems helps a great deal (I find, for me, what goes on in my head...worrying, etc) is more stressful than anything. You are caring for your husband and that must be very very hard on you. Just know that whatever you do is enough... that we cannot fix our loved one's problems (mental or physical) but we can just love and support them and do what we can to assist them in their day to day routine. Welcome to a caring community and I truly hope you find some inspiration and friends here.

mydarling, I deal with depression taking over often. It can be very difficult to get back under control but when I start losing my intrest to go anywhere or do anything I make myself get motivated and do what needs to be done. I am here for you if you need an ear or just a shoulder to cry on.

Love and Hugs..........
Shelba

I'm with you on that. Nothing I do is right. My husband and child can't get along. I am totally depressed and just sick of it all.

You aren't whining ... I feel the same way at times, then I'll feel better and repeat cycle...It's even harder when you don't have someone to talk to for long periods of time.
Is there any way you can get out of the house for an afternoon each week?
Go for a walk in the park, take in a movie, have a little coffee and pie.
Make yourself do it! I have to force myself out there sometimes but it feels so good when I get out! ;-) No guilt at all because I can go back refreshed and patient again.
We're in this together. Why not Vent, Rant and Whine with the best! I'm sure everyone here feels the same and are grateful you brought this up!

YES... I feel that way 6 out of 7 days a week.. But the funny thing is I wake up every morning and I find myself moving thru the day.. I try to keep focused on just today.. I did throw a few things around yesterday.. I don't think they hit anyone or at least no one mentioned it if I did.. I walk when it gets to much .. I find the support I get here on DS to be the most helful thing I have ever found in my life.. I hope you will find the same Love D

I have days where I want to stab my eye with a fork, just to see if somebody notices....

All of these ppl have excellent advise good luck sewwtie it can be difficult at imes hang in there:)

You are not by yourself, sweetie. We all get to feeling that way. I think it's because it is 24/7/365. In fact, I am in a depression right now. We have to keep on pushing even when we feel like we can't push anymore. Don't feel like it's because you don't care--you just need some "me" time and can't get it.

Hang in there, girlfriend.

I feel this a lot. When I do, I let myself whine, cry or mope around for a bit. Then I'll get myself in a quite place and just have a good stern talk with myself .... I tell myself, "you are better than this, you are stronger than this, you CAN get through this, many more people have tougher lives than I do, get over yourself!" This usually gives me enough motivation to do something that I enjoy for a bit to get back into reality. I may read, take a walk, call a friend, get a Starbucks or just relax and breath for a while. Good luck girl, you can do it too!

I feel like that most days anymore. You aren't alone. Me time is a sought after commodity I don't get much of. When I have had enough of dad I take a break and head for home (I live in St Louis he lives in NE) but that doesnt work perfectly either because he guilts me the entire time I am gone and then I get back to his house and the bullshit starts again. Just try every day to do something for yourself even if its the smallest of things. Unfortunatly we are basically responsible for making ourselves smile.

(((HUGS))
Raven

Ohhhh...I like that "stab my eye with a fork" thing...perfectly succinct! I'll remember that one! I'm heading for the fork drawer right now...

WAIT GAIL... GET ME A STEAK KNIFE... LOVE D

Most of us go through this. I am so thankful for lessons learned in alanon many years ago. Most of the time when husband gets crabby , the crabbier he gets the nicer I treat him. I remind myself constantly one day he will no longer be here. I am 79 years old and being alone is my worst nightmare. So I thank God for his good days and do my best to endure the bad ones. But I have times when I think he will bury me before he goes.
A trick many years ago, printed by Ann Landers ," Tie a big knot in a large bath towel, get in the shower and beat hell out of the walls." this helps me tremendously and it's also good exercise.
Most important, do not feel guilty for your "less than saintly" thoughts. Know that we all have them and we are all here for you. Heavens, I thought no one could have more worrisome troubles than I do till I joined this DS and read what some of these people have to live with. hugs everybody for being here.

I don't consider what you said to be whining at all. You're just stating how you feel, and I completely understand it too. When we caregive, we are putting the caregivee's feelings and needs ahead of our own, most of the time. And, it takes a toll on even the best of us. Try to take just a few minutes a day to do something calming for yourself. Here's a few thoughts: Take a bubble bath, put on some music you enjoy; call a friend or journal on here; take a walk or a drive - find what helps you, and make it a point to get around to it, you'll thank yourself for doing so.

YES. YES. YES. Actually, another minute .. And I have it easy. My brother lives here and a sister comes twice a year for three weeks each..
AND, I come here to DS and, among other things people crack me up! (I went to the drawer and ALL the forks and knives were gone! I guess I'll have to use a spoon..) And, yes, sometimes I wish my mother would get better or die!
:o( She is having such a terrible time and it is depressing for me. She's scared. She's very, very weak. She's old. She has medication resistant anxiety/depression and seems to need constant reassurances. On the other hand, I cannot imagine life without her, so I don't.

If there is anyway at all possible, you need to find some way to get out, at least mentally. For me, coming here is a good diversion. Only, my disjointed paragraphs are do to interruptions.. I also try to take a walk in the park during the morning before my brother goes to work. I know that most here do not have such freedom. I don't know what they do, but you must take care of yourself!